


Your Eyes Look Like Coming Home

by dattomlinsass



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, larry stylinson - Freeform, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-10-17
Packaged: 2017-12-26 04:53:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dattomlinsass/pseuds/dattomlinsass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Warning: This work deals with drugs and drug abuse.<br/>Louis Tomlinson is a junior at the University of London studying physics and theatre. Harry Styles had embarked on the most interesting business endeavor of his life. What happens when these two very different boys meet all thanks to one toxic habit they have in common?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's Just A Study Aid

Louis had been staring at his laptop screen for almost two hours. It was finals week and he'd completed (and aced) all of them except physics. _Sigh, physics_. Louis had a love/hate relationship with his major. On one hand, he loved solving problems and figuring out algorithms more than he loved most people. On the other hand, he wasn't sure if his brain could fit any more equations. _Pressure equals force divided by acceleration. Power equals momentum times velocity. Ugh._ Louis rubbed his temple. All he had to do was pass this last final in two days and then he had a whole month and a half to do with as he pleased. There was only three weeks until his twenty second birthday and then Christmas the day later. How had he passed his finals in the past? _Oh. Right. Adderall._ Louis' freshman year of school, he met one of his roommates Niall who introduced it to him. _It's not **really** a drug. Lots of people have prescriptions for it. It's just a study aid._ Louis was proud of himself for getting this far without it, but what would it hurt?

_Ding._ Louis looked at his phone. Today marked one month since he and Stan broke up. Stan had decided he wasn't gay, yet he still texted Louis from time to time to hook up. Louis gave in last time, not because he wanted to hook up with his ex, but because he was lonely and wanted someone to cuddle with in a non platonic manner. Louis felt a large, warm hand rub the back of his neck. He could already tell that it was his other roommate and best friend, Liam.

"Is that prick still texting you?" Liam asked. Liam had been Louis' platonic cuddle buddy for the passed four weeks. Liam was flamingly heterosexual, but that's just how their friendship had always been. Louis was very touchy-feely and Liam accepted that. Liam actually really liked it.

"Mhm." Louis relaxed his shoulders at Liam's touch.

"How's studying going?" Liam peered over Louis' shoulder at the laptop screen. "I don't even know what most of those symbols mean."

"Yeah me neither. I think I'll get it before the exam." Louis hoped, anyway.

"You should go out and do something fun tonight, Lou. You deserve it." Louis was pretty sure that if kindness had a sound, it would be Liam's voice.

"I just might." Louis said. Liam squeezed Louis' shoulders and went to the kitchen. Louis heard the blender start soon after. Liam was on a protein shake kick that made Louis want to vomit.

Louis looked at the clock. Eight PM. Louis stood up and changed his Hollister sweatpants for his favorite tight red skinny jeans and put on a t-shirt and his favorite white and red striped sweater that was a little too big for him, but he liked because the sleeves covered his hands. He stood sideways and admired his own ass in the full length mirror across from his bed. _Beanie or no beanie? Definitely no beanie._ Louis' fringe was feathery and he didn't want to ruin it. Louis slipped on his pair of white Vans, grabbed his wallet, and went to the kitchen.

"I'm taking your advice and going out. Dunno how late I'll be, don't wait up." Louis said to Liam who was trying to con Niall into trying a positively vile looking green frozen beverage.

"You're not going to see shit head are you?" Niall looked concerned at Louis' sudden urge to look cute. Louis couldn't help but smile at the charming nickname Niall had for Stan.

"Nah, I'm going to Storm." Storm was a trashy little night club where Louis had gotten Adderall last time.

"Do you need a ride?" Leave it to Liam to be concerned about Louis.

"It's right down the street, I think I'll walk." Louis said, hoping Liam wasn't feeling especially protective today.

Liam looked Louis over and decided not to fight this battle. "Okay. Call me if you need a ride home."

"Will do." Louis smiled at his roommates and headed out the door. Louis skipped down the stairs that led to the street. Louis, Liam and Niall lived on a second story apartment building in London right next to downtown. The snow on the edges of the sidewalk glittered pure white even though it was hiding hundreds of cigarette butts and litter. Louis regretted not wearing a beanie once his ears began to tingle from the cold, but he didn't want to turn back now, so he whistled while he walked to take his mind off it.

Storm was about a five minute walk from his apartment. There wasn't a line at the front door. There never was. The bouncer looked Louis up and down before motioning him to go inside. Louis did. Once inside, Louis was disoriented by the red strobe light and some shitty dubstep song. He took a deep breath and looked around. Last time, he was directed to a smoldering Arab kid in a Cool Kids Don't Dance hoodie who mumbled a lot for the Adderall. That kid was nowhere to be found tonight. Louis continued to scan the crowd. There was a group of girls in lingerie, fishnets and fuzzy boots stomping to the music. _Negative._ Louis spotted a large white guy with large gauges in his ears wearing a Deadmau5 shirt and had a toothpick in his mouth. Louis took a deep breath and approached him.

"Hi." Louis said. _God, I'm such a dork._ The guy clenched his toothpick in his mouth and scrunched his eyebrows.

"What?" He spat when he spoke. _Charming._

"Do you know where I can get some Adderall?" Louis shouted over the intense drum and bass. The dude looked offended.

"Who do I look like?" He demanded. Louis didn't know if he was being serious or not, but he didn't want to find out.

"Alright, sorry." Louis said and turned to walk away.

" _Faggot._ " The guy hissed.

Louis sighed and ventured to the dance floor. A techno remix of Mr. Postman by the Marvelettes came on that Louis liked, so he decided to dance while he thought of a new tactic. Louis never felt awkward dancing even though he was complete shit at it. Even when he was alone at a club. Louis moved his hips to the beat of the breakdown when two green eyes caught his. Brown bushy eyebrows raised at him and started getting closer and closer. The green eyes and thick eyebrows belonged to a tall, lean boy with curly brown hair and an angelic face with big red lips and a big nose that fit his face. The boy approached Louis with his back facing him and grinded on Louis with his head turned to the side so that Louis could feel his breath.

"I head you were looking for something." The boy had a much deeper voice than Louis anticipated. Louis hadn't been grinded on in four long weeks and was very much enjoying this.

"Yeah, Adderall!" Louis shouted. Moments ago, the song was blaring and the volume of Louis' voice wouldn't have been detectable to anyone that wasn't right next to him, but right at the sound left his mouth, the song was in the process of changing. Every head on the dance floor snapped to Louis. _Fuck._

"Yeah, I don't know what that is either!" The mystery curly headed boy shouted back at Louis. Suddenly, a big hand was pulling Louis towards the bathroom and he was so disoriented that he let it. The curly headed boy pushed open the men's bathroom door and pulled Louis inside.

"You can't be doing it like that, you're gonna get me caught." The boy's jaw was strong.

"Sorry." Louis said, pulling the sleeves of his sweater to cover his hands, a nervous habit he'd always had.

The boy looked Louis up and down slowly. "Let me guess. You're in uni and you're studying for finals."

Louis frowned. "How did you know?"

"You look like a prissy uptight student who wouldn't be caught dead in this type of club if you weren't looking for drugs." The boy smiled. He looked like a cherub, complete with dimples.

"Fuck you." Louis growled and turned to leave the bathroom but stopped dead in his tracks when he heard the boy say "I'd consider it." Louis turned back slowly, now enraged.

"What's your problem?" Louis ask flatly. The boy was still smiling. _Dick_.

"No problem. Just calling them as I see them. How many do you want?"

"You know what, forget it." Louis turned to leave again but felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Here. Sorry I hurt your feelings." The boy placed two pills in Louis' hand. Louis looked down at them. The capsule with the little beads in it was the one he recognized: that was definitely Adderall. The other one was a little red perfect circle with some kind of design on it. Upon further inspection, Louis determined that it was the Transformers logo.

"What's this?" Louis asked.

"Ecstasy. It'll help you chill out. Have a nice night." The boy was already halfway out the door.

"Wait. How much do I owe you?" Louis fished his wallet out of his tight pants.

"Five." The boy pushed his curls out of his face. _God he was pretty_. In a weird way. His features together shouldn't have been pretty, but somehow they were. He looked like an angel in a painting from the Renaissance, but sexy. Louis handed him the cash and looked at the tiny red pill in his hand.

"You scared?" It came out as more of a dare. Louis looked up and locked eyes with this kid..this drug dealer? then without breaking eye contact, Louis placed the tiny pill on his tongue and swallowed without water. It tasted insanely bitter but Louis kept a poker face.

"Yikes." The boy raised his eyebrows. "You'll be feeling good in no time." He winked and left the bathroom. Just. Like. That.

Louis looked at himself in the mirror, half expecting to feel something right away. _What was it that ecstasy did again? Made you happy? Kids do it at raves._ Louis honestly had no idea what he was in for, and at the moment, he didn't care. Louis was still newly single and he'd been itching to drown his sorrows in _something_. Preferably that cherub looking drug dealer. _I mean, no. He was a dick._

Louis splashed his face with water from the sink before going back to the dance floor where he let the music take over his body. Twenty minutes of dancing alone went by and Louis was starting to think the tab the dealer had given him was bunk. Oh well, at least he didn't pay for it. All of a sudden without warning, Louis' body felt like water. His body flowed into the song like the melody was an embodiment of himself. Like he **was** the song. Louis felt every molecule buzzing throughout his body. The strobe light looked brighter, the song had gotten one hundred times better, Louis was starting to think he liked this techno bullshit. Louis looked down at his feet. _Had his shoes always been this white?_ Louis wasn't actively thinking about moving but he found himself leaving the entrance of the club. The frosty air smacked Louis in the face which would have usually made his bones ache, but this time it felt almost orgasmic. Louis plopped down on the curb and stroked the pavement. _Oh my god, the texture of concrete is the most marvelous thing in the world._

Louis heart someone clear their throat. He looked up and saw shimmering light surrounding a full head of curls. Louis' body felt like it was vibrating.

"Hiiiii." Louis was still stroking the pavement. He noticed a blonde girl with a weird nose next to the drug dealer.

"Oh my god, you've never rolled before." He actually looked concerned. He also looked holy. And sexy.

"Have you felt this curb? Feel this curb." Louis felt warm inside, but on the outside he felt like your mouth feels when you take a drink of water after chewing minty gum.

The curly boy whispered something to the blonde girl before she walked away and he sat next to Louis. He put his face dangerously close to Louis', and Louis was about to lean in before the boy grabbed Louis' jaw. "Stop clenching your teeth."

"I'm not." Louis almost melted at the feeling of warm hands on his face.

"You are, you just don't realize it. Here." The boy held out a stick of gum. "Chew on this. It'll help."

Louis took the metallic stick, unwrapped it, and popped the pink rectangle into his mouth and rolled the wrapper around in his hands. He swore he could feel every particle that had ever touched the wrapper. "What's your name?" Louis asked.

"Harry. Yours?"

"Louis. **_Oh my god this is thebestthingI'veevertasted. What flavor is this?_** " It tasted like bubblegum, but way more intense.

"Bubblemint. You should have just told me you've never rolled before, I wouldn't have given you that tab." The boy- _Harry_ said.

"No. Nonono. This is fantastic. Fan. Fucking. Tastic." Louis chewed the gum like his life depended on it. Harry sighed.

"Have you drank anythin'?" Harry got so close to Louis' face that their noses were almost touching. Louis hadn't felt this intimate with anyone since Stan was last balls deep inside him.

"No." Louis was entranced by Harry's green eyes.

"Okay. Keep chewing the gum."

"Aye aye, captain." So Louis chewed for what seemed like both just a few seconds and twenty years.

"What does the triangle on your ankle mean?" Harry was pointing at the tattoo on Louis' naked ankle that he'd gotten just days ago on impulse.

"I don't wanna tell you." Louis was rubbing the concrete again.

"Why not?" Harry's voice was slow and warm.

"Okay fine. But only because I feel **really** good right now. Okay, so during the Holocaust, in concentration camps, the gays had to wear triangles on their clothes so the Nazi leaders could easily identify them. Jews had another symbols, gypsies another, and mentally handicapped. Anyway, I'm gay and I'm reclaiming the triangle." Louis had actually planned on getting that tattoo for a year, but Stan said it was stupid so he'd put it off until the other day.

"Huh. I like that." Louis leaned in to feel Harry's breath on his face.

"Really? You don't think it's stupid? Or gay?" Louis felt himself shivering, but he didn't feel cold.

"I mean it's pretty gay, considering." _Cheeky bastard._

"Right. Well, yeah. I'm gay." Louis got a whiff of his own cologne and got the overwhelming desire to fuck himself. To fuck in general, really.

"I see. Walk to the store with me and we'll get you some orange juice." Harry pulled Louis up with one arm.

"But I don't like orange juice." Louis frowned. Frowning felt so _weird_. Was your face supposed to even do that? It felt wrong.

"You'll like it, I promise." Harry and Louis walked side by side on the sidewalk. Louis purposely walked on the edges in the snow because he liked the sound his shoes made when the snow crunched under them.

"So you're a drug dealer." Louis said, realizing he'd been quiet for five seconds. Harry flinched. "Um. Yeah. I guess so."

"You _guess_ so? But you are." Louis felt the snow seeping into his shoes and onto his socks. It felt magical.

"Yeah. Okay. I am." Harry fiddled with a button on his peacoat.

"What do you sell?" Louis slipped, but he caught himself before he busted ass on the sidewalk.

"Painkillers. Adderall. Hydrocodone. Sometimes weed. Coke." His voice cracked on the last one.

"Fuck. Why?" Louis' feet were tingling.

"That's kind of personal." Harry said softly.

"Right. Sorry." All of a sudden, they were inside a gas station. Louis didn't remember going in the door, but he was drawn to the Slurpee machine. He watched in awe as the machine turned the bright blue slush over and over and over again. Louis cocked his head to the side and decided that that colour blue was his favorite colour of all time, hands down.

"Louis come on, I got you orange juice." Harry was holding a plastic bag and a receipt.

"Mmm." Louis followed Harry back out into the brisk air. Harry opened the two liter bright orange bottle. _Okay no, **that** was his favorite colour of all time_. "Drink." Harry held it out to Louis. Louis grabbed the bottle with both hands and took a small sip, which turned into a gulp. Louis' tastebuds almost exploded. It was the perfect combination of tangy and sweet and Louis couldn't stop drinking it.

"Fuck. Is it wrong to be sexually attracted to juice?" Louis asked between gulps. Harry burst into laughter. "I told you that you'd like it."

"God, is this what orange juice always tastes like because fuck." Louis finally pulled the bottle from his lips. It was half empty. Half full, Louis decided. He was feeling optimistic.

"It'll help you not lose all your serotonin." _Serotonin._ Louis knew what that was. It's the stuff in your brain that's released that makes you happy.

"Right." Louis was now aware that he didn't know where his gum had gone. "I've lost my gum. I've lost it. It's gone." Louis was panicking.

"It's okay. Here." Harry held out another stick.

"Ohmygod you're the best." Louis unwrapped it and stuck it in his mouth and chewed. The flavor was just as wonderful as it had been the last time.

"You need to get somewhere warmer. Your body temperature is higher than normal so you might be too cold and not realize it. Do you live around here?" Louis got chills when Harry spoke.

"Mhmmm." Louis skipped down the sidewalk. Harry sighed and followed right behind him.

"Did you mean it when you called me prissy?" Louis asked out of curiosity rather than disappointment.

"Kind of, yeah." Harry's voice wasn't apologetic.

"Why?" Louis spun around and almost fell again, but this time Harry held his arm out for Louis to grab. Harry's arms were rock hard, even through his coat.

"You looked like a student that's gotten everything handed to him and never had to fight for anything. Other than being gay I guess." Harry's voice was velvet. If velvet had a sound, it would be Harry's voice.

"Oh." Louis didn't really absorb what Harry had just said because now they were climbing the steps to Louis' apartment. "Wanna come in?" It didn't occur to Louis that inviting a drug dealer into his home could be a bad idea.

"For a little bit. So I can make sure you're okay." Harry was hesitant when Louis turned the lock and entered the apartment, but he followed.

"Nice place." Harry said, slipping off his boots and leaving them outside the door.

"It's okay." Louis whispered as his tiptoed through the living room and to his room. He had no idea what time it was, but judging by the silence, Liam and Niall were definitely asleep. When Louis flipped the light switch in his bedroom, he fell to his knees. Harry ran towards him and helped him up, but Louis' knees would not lock, so he set Louis on his bed.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Harry held Louis' face in both hands, looking at him closely. Louis leaned in and kissed Harry. Just. Like. That. Like it was no big deal.

"Are you okay?" Harry was completely not phased.

"Mmm'fine." Louis said, staring at Harry's perfect red lips.

"Okay. Put some warm socks on and get under the covers. You'll start to calm down. You probably won't sleep tonight, but you'll start to settle down soon." Harry got down on the floor and unlaced Louis' shoes and removed them. Louis' eyes rolled back into his head with pleasure from Harry's touch. "Everything feels so good." He whined.

"I know. Which is your sock drawer?" Louis pointed at his sock drawer. Harry opened it and paused before grabbing two knee high black Nike soccer socks. Louis wondered what Harry paused for while he pulled the socks over his feet and calves. Oh. _Oh_.

"Shit I'm sorry. Sorry. I forgot that was in there." Louis was referring to the anal plug he hid in there. It felt like all the blood in his body rushed to his cheeks.

"S'okay. You gotta do what you gotta do." Louis decided that Harry's dimples were the eighth wonder of the world. "All set?"

"Stay." Louis said.

Harry looked around the room before agreeing. "Okay."

Louis stood up and peeled off his skinny jeans and pulled on his Hollister sweatpants extra slowly and was almost offended when Harry didn't check out his ass. Not even a little glance.

"I feel so comfy." Louis said as he slid into his covers. "Oh man, this is amazing." Louis felt like he was on a cloud. The fluffy cartoon kind, not the gaseous real kind.

"I feel bad for letting this happen. I shouldn't have given you that tab." Harry sat at the edge of Louis' bed. Louis owned a twin sized bed, so even at the edge, Harry was almost touching Louis.

"No I'm glad this happened. It's what I needed." Louis stretched his legs out and almost moaned with how good it felt.

"Stressed because of finals?" Harry guessed.

"Kind of. And I just went through a breakup." Usually any time Louis said the word 'breakup', he got really sad, but this time he stated it like it was fact. _Because it was_.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Harry said, glancing at his watch. "I really need to get going. Are you gonna be okay?" And for the first time in four weeks, Louis didn't feel like he was lying when he said "Yes."

Louis walked Harry to the front door, holding his blanket around his shoulders. "Thanks, Harry." Louis didn't feel like he was vibrating anymore, but he still felt most of the molcules in his body.

"You're welcome. And I'm sorry. Want my number in case you need anything?" Harry asked with his velvety tongue. Louis bet he tasted like velvet too.

"Yeah." Louis reached into the left pocket of his sweatpants. He didn't remember putting his phone there, but apparently he had. He pressed the home button and watched his phone light up. He stared at the bright picture of his sisters that was his home screen for several moments before remembering what he had his phone out for. Harry gave him his phone number. "Harry. Okay. Saved. Thanks." Louis looked up at Harry who had a faint smile on his face.

"Oh. Sorry for kissing you earlier." But Louis wasn't sorry. Not one bit.

"It's okay." Harry said.

"Okay."

"Okay." And Harry slipped out the front door. Just. Like. That.


	2. After Glow

Louis watched Harry skip down the stairs into oblivion. He pressed the home button on his iPhone. 4:22am. _Huh._ Louis felt like he was in a time warp; he couldn't have possibly let _that_ much time pass without realizing it, right? Louis weighed his options. He blinked his eyes slowly, checking for an ounce of fatigue, but alas, there was none. His heart rate was slowing down and he didn't feel like he was vibrating anymore, but he did feel like there was a literal cloud around him at all times. He wasn't happy, but he wasn't necessarily sad either. _Numb,_ that's the emotion Louis decided on. Liam would be waking up in half an hour to go on his usual five AM jog, so Louis decided to make breakfast.

He opened the fridge and collected the egg carton, bread package, bacon, and a couple potatoes. Breakfast was really the only thing Louis knew how to cook, and rightfully so. Louis had spent many nights with many different guys, and he always wanted to make sure to leave them with something positive before he slipped out the morning after. Louis didn't like to think of himself as slutty, just provocative. Or at least he was, before, _sigh_ , Stan. As Louis cracked eggs into a sizzling frying pan, he remembered that he kissed Harry. _Why did I do that?_ Oh, right. He was horny and Louis had no boundaries.

By the time Liam's door opened at 4:59, Louis was setting the tiny circular table for two. There was no way Niall was going to be up before noon today.

"Louis? Are you..cooking?" Liam rubbed sleep from his big brown eyes.

"Mhmm." Louis took a whiff of the omelettes he created and wanted to gag. The last thing his body wanted right now was food.

Liam sat down and looked at the plate. "Omelette, toast, and hashbrowns? Are you okay?" Liam reached over the table to hold Louis' hand. Louis felt him checking his pulse.

"Yeah, just wanted to make you breakfast before you went running. You usually cook all the time, so." Louis shrugged.

Liam broke into the warmest smile Louis had seen since the last time he did something thoughtful for him. One great thing about Liam (there were thousands), was that he never let a kind gesture go unappreciated. "Thank you, Lou. How was your night? Have you slept yet?" Liam took a bite of the omelette.

"No problem. Um, my night was okay. I slept a little bit." Louis lied. He cautiously took a bite of toast, which he immediately regretted.

"Long day of studying ahead?" Liam asked.

"Yeah. I'll be alright." Louis cut up everything on his plate into tiny pieces so it looked like he was eating. He really didn't want to have to answer questions as to why he wasn't eating. Not now, anyway.

"Did you hang out with anyone last night?" Liam asked, innocently, but by his tone, Louis could tell he knew the answer already.

"Kind of. Why?" Louis said slowly.

"Found this on the floor in the living room." Liam held out a gold chain with a simple gold cross hanging from it. Louis couldn't remember if Harry was wearing a necklace, but he had to have been; the necklace didn't belong to him, Niall, or Liam.

"Oh. Sorry." Louis took the necklace and cradled the cross in between his thumb and pointer finger.

"Who's is it?" There wasn't a hint of judgement in Liam's tone, just curiosity.

"Um. His name is Harry." Louis tried to replay the events of the previous hours in his mind, but they were all so hazy and he was beginning to question if Harry was real.

"What's he like?" Liam was assuming Louis had fucked Harry, which would usually be a fair assumption, considering Louis' track record.

"He's.." Louis searched for the right word. "Interesting. We didn't fuck or anything like that." Louis detected a hint of relief on Liam's face.

"Cool." Liam smiled and got up to put his plate in the dishwasher and went to his room. Louis emptied his barely touched chopped up breakfast into the trashcan and put his place next to Liam's in the dishwasher. Liam emerged from his room in grey sweatpants and a matching grey hoodie. "Wanna join?"

Usually, Louis would have grimaced at the very thought of running at five in the morning, but he wasn't tired and felt like he needed to get out of the haze he was in, so he nodded. Liam smiled wide. "Really? Excellent! Put on a hoodie and I'll make pre workout smoothies! Maybe I'll try to get Niall in on this too.." Liam was either the most optimistic person on the planet, or he was delirious. Louis grabbed his hoodie and listened while Liam knocked lightly on Niall's door. No answer. He knocked a little louder.

" _Piss off!_ " Niall shouted from under his covers. Louis smiled. Liam frowned and retreated to the kitchen. The blender started and Louis stretched his legs.

Liam handed Louis a small cup of pale yellow slush. "Pineapple, Muscle Milk, protein powder, and love." Liam smiled before downing his own cup. Louis drank his as quickly as he could to get it down and avoid offending Liam. The flavors were intensified due to the ecstasty in his system. _Was it still in his system?_ But it tasted good and didn't make Louis feel sick. "It's good." Louis said, handing the empty cup to Liam. "Innit?"

They left the house and Louis was almost blown away by how beautiful it was outside. Granted, it was the beginning of December in South London, so it should have been completely miserable, but it wasn't to Louis. He absolutely loved the way the snow looked on the grass when the sun started to rise, and he was basically immune to the harsh temperatures by now. He loved how still the world was in the winter, how silent it was. He almost didn't want to start jogging and ruin the quiet perfect morning, but he did anyway. He could tell that Liam was going slow for Louis because they remained side by side almost the entire time, which Louis was a little embarrassed about. Louis was athletic, but jogging wasn't his thing, especially this morning. He could feel the smoothie sloshing around in his stomach and barely had time to stop before he threw up yellow liquid on the sidewalk. "Shit." Louis gagged.

Liam gasped. "Louis! Are you okay?" Liam put his hand on Louis' cheek. "You feel warm. Here, let's go back home." Liam rubbed the small of Louis' back.

"God. I'm sorry." Stomach acid burned Louis' throat.

"It's okay, love, don't be sorry." They hadn't even ran two blocks yet. Liam rubbed Louis' back until they reached the front door when Liam opened it and ushered Louis inside. "Take a nice warm shower. Do you want anything? Do you need anything?"

"I think I'm fine. Thanks, Li." Louis half smiled. "Of course, Lou. Let me know if you need anything."

Louis went to the bathroom, started the water, stripped naked, and looked at himself in the mirror. He had terrible bags under his eyes, but other than that he looked fine, not strung out like he felt. Once Louis stood under the hot water, he realized how grimy he felt. He scrubbed at his skin with a loofah and the lemon lavender body wash he'd bought the other day until his skin was red and took extra time washing his hair and then just stood under the hot water for several minutes reevaluating his life. He was almost twenty two, doing fairly well in school, and wasn't getting fat. So what if he did ecstasy once? That didn't make him a bad person, right? Right. Louis reassured himself in his head before he stopped the water and stepped out of the shower, brushed his teeth, and left the bathroom with only a towel around his waist. Liam was sitting on the couch watching a rerun of Skins. He looked up and held out his own white fluffy bathrobe to Louis. "Here, wear this."

Louis took it and slipped the soft, heavy robe around his shoulders and tied it in the front, letting his towel fall to the floor. "Thanks." Liam was so thoughtful.

Louis sat next to Liam and grabbed his laptop on the coffee table and started reviewing his notes. He decided against the Adderall, seeing as though he felt like he might die if he put anything else in his system now. Louis rewrote every equation he needed for his exam in a notebook over and over again in order to memorize them.

Louis must have fallen asleep, because he woke up with his head in Liam's lap and Liam running his fingers through Louis' now dry hair. His notebook was still in his lap and his laptop was in sleep mode.

"Have a nice nap?" Liam leaned down and kissed Louis on the forehead. People that didn't know Louis and Liam always thought they were dating. Liam was completely comfortable with platonic intimacy with Louis, something most guys thought was disgusting. Louis nodded. He remembered in grade seven when Liam revealed to him that he'd never kissed anyone before, and Louis offered to be his first. Girls kissed each other all the time, they didn't see the big deal with two guys doing it. Louis remembers having a crush on Liam at that point, but once they kissed, neither of them felt anything, and they even continued to kiss sometimes when they were both single and lonely. They realized they had a strange relationship, but they didn't care. Kissing felt nice.

Louis sat up and rubbed his eyes. He no longer felt like a literal cloud was surrounding him. He actually felt really good. "How long was I asleep?"

"Seven hours. You look a lot better." _Shit._

Louis raised his hand to scratch his neck but felt something he didn't recognize. It was Harry's necklace. Louis had no recollection of putting it on.

_Ding_. Louis checked his phone.

**Message from HARRY**

Louis also only vaguely remembered programming Harry's number into his phone. He opened the text message.

**How are you feeling? Any chance my necklace is at your place?**

Louis tapped his keyboard.

**I threw up earlier. I took a nap and feel better now. And yes, it is.**

Louis realized Niall was sitting in the recliner across from him.

"Heard you got sick. You okay Lou?" Niall was wearing sleep pants with the Bud Light logo all over them.

"Yeah, dunno what was wrong with me."

_Ding._

Louis clicked open.

**Ah, should've warned you. Mind if I come by tonight to get my necklace?**

The thing was, Louis kind of minded. He didn't even know why he minded. Louis just didn't like the idea of a drug dealer being in his house, but he couldn't just say no.

**Sure.**

Louis looked over the equations in his notebook and was surprised that he'd actually retained the information. He felt ready for his exam bright and early the next day, which was a huge weight off his shoulders. He, Liam and Niall spent the next two hours playing FIFA. Louis won, as always, and Niall ordered pizza, also as always. Louis realized he was still naked under the robe, so he went to his room and changed into skinny jeans with rips in the knees and a teal fitted v-neck. He looked in the mirror and saw that his hair had air dried and now half of it stuck awkwardly straight up while the other half laid flat. He turned on his straightener and sprayed root boost spray in his hair and blow dried his hair, working it up with a round brush. He straightened his hair expertly until his fringe was feathery and perfect, just like he liked it.

When he returned to the living room, two boxes of pizza were laying on the coffee table. Louis smiled when he noticed one of them was his favorite, chicken alfredo, and grabbed a slice.

There was a small knock at the door. Louis opened the door and jumped. Right in front of him was the same curly, angelic boy who had sold him drugs less than twenty four hours prior, but this time he had a huge gash bleeding through the sleeve of his white shirt, a black eye, and busted bottom lip, and a bleeding temple.

"Hello." Harry smiled. There was blood in his teeth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you guys liking this so far? Leave a comment to tell me what you think! xx


	3. Dimples

_"What the fuck happened to you?!"_ Louis whisper shouted, hoping Liam and Niall wouldn't hear. Louis saw Liam slowly start to rise from the couch in his peripherals. Louis shook his head slowly in Liam's direction, and Liam stopped, but didn't sit back down.

Harry licked his lips. "Nothing really. Are you wearing my necklace?"

"Nothing _really_!? You're bleeding out of multiple places. For fuck's sake, come inside and let me help you clean those before you get an infection." Louis turned and gave Liam and Niall an apologetic look before Harry stepped inside.

Liam gasped when he saw Harry. "Shit, oh my god, are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?" Liam was already grabbing his keys off the table. Niall's mouth hung open.

"Oh no, just need to clean myself off a little. It looks worse than it is, no worries." Harry held out his right hand to Niall who just stared at it. Harry looked down and realized there was dried blood on it and immediately retracted his hand. "Sorry. M'Harry." Harry bowed his head.

"Niall." Niall's eyes were wide. Liam's eyebrows raised at Louis who pretended not to notice.

"I'm Liam." Liam's face was full of concern.

"Right. Now that's everyone's introduced, follow me to the bathroom." Louis walked straight to the bathroom without looking back. _This will be fun to explain._ He turned the light on and looked back at Harry, who stood on the tile with his hands behind his back. The sleeve of his white v-neck was soaked through with blood and his left eye looked even more purple in direct light. Louis ran a washcloth under warm water in the sink and handed it to Harry. "So tell me what happened. And don't give me that 'nothing really' bullshit."

Harry took the rag and wiped at his busted lip with it before half smiling. "I was mugged." The little bastard was _smiling_ when he said he got mugged.

"Oh my god what? Are you okay? What happened?" Harry looked different somehow today. Maybe it was because Louis was sober.

"It's fine. Just took my drugs." Harry shrugged like it was no big deal.

Louis fished under the sink for a bottle of hydrogen peroxide. He poured some on a new washcloth and rolled up Harry's sleeve. The gash wasn't so long as it was deep. It definitely could use stitches. Louis shuddered. "This is going to burn." He warned before pressing the cloth to Harry's cut and held his breath. Harry didn't flinch, nor did he scream, wince, or hiss. His face remained somber, he was still even smiling a little. "What _are_ you?" Louis asked.

"What am I? Um, bloody?" Harry looked at the blood on the washcloth from his arm. "Whoa, that's a bit worse than I thought it was."

"No shit. How are you not screaming? Doesn't this burn?"

"I suppose a little. At least they didn't get my tattoo." Harry was referring to the ship on his bicep. Harry's eyes were wild. Louis had forgotten how green they were.

"So does this happen to you often?" Louis threw the the bloody washcloth in the hamper and poured peroxide on a new one and pressed it to the small cut on Harry's temple.

"I wouldn't say often, but it's happened before." Harry's hair smelled like smoke.

"Take a shower."

"Excuse me?" Harry looked at Louis.

"Unless you live close and are going to shower there. But it'll help. And you need it." Louis didn't believe in sugarcoating.

"Mmm. Well I can't really go home, but I don't want to impose. I just came for my necklace. I wasn't planning on getting mugged on the way." Now that the dried blood was off his face, Louis could tell that Harry's cheeks were red.

"Why can't you go home. And no, I'm not letting you leave until you're in better shape." Louis looked at Harry's lip, which granted, wasn't as bad as it looked, but it was still spit open.

Harry sighed. "Honestly, I live with my supplier and I'm not allowed home until I have cash to make up for the drugs I lost."

"How much did you lose?" Louis lowered his eyes to meet Harry's.

"Not a lot. I'll have it by tomorrow." Louis shook his head and left Harry in the bathroom while he grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a large t-shirt and brought them back to the bathroom.

"Here's clean clothes to change in to after your shower. Give me your shirt." Louis held out his hand.

Harry looked he was about to protest, but something in his face softened and he took the clothes, set them on the counter and removed his shirt. Louis was taken aback by Harry's body. His abs were deeply defined and ended in two sunken lines in the center of his lower torso that pointed towards his junk. His chest was broad with two sparrow tattoos facing each other near his collar bones and a large ornate butterfly right below his pecks. Louis felt himself salivate as he took the shirt, never taking his eyes off of Harry. Harry noticed and smiled.

"Guess my shirt's fucked, huh?"

"I grew up in a house of women, I know how to get blood out of clothes. Have a good shower." Louis turned and left the bathroom, closing the door lightly behind him and walked slowly to the living room where Niall and Liam were speaking in hushed tones.

"What happened? Is he okay?" Liam asked when Louis crept in from the hall.

"He'll be okay. He's showering now. Sorry about this." Louis mumbled, making his way to the kitchen.

"Does he need to stay here? He can stay here if he wants." Liam said, following Louis.

Louis set Harry's bloody shirt in the sink and poured rubbing alcohol all over it and dabbed at the sleeve with a rag. "I dunno. I'll ask him." Louis really didn't want to talk about this.

Liam put a large warm hand on Louis' shoulder and stood with him while he restored the shirt back to white.

"You don't have to tell us what's going on, just please be careful." Niall said, leaning against the wall of the kitchen.

"Everything's fine. I met him yesterday and he just was coming back for his necklace that he left here." Niall raised his eyebrows. Could everyone stop raising their eyebrows?

"They didn't fuck." Liam said in a hushed tone to Niall.

"Yeah, just broadcast that to the world, why don't you?" Louis rung out the shirt and threw it in the washing machine.

Liam grabbed a large bandaid and Neosporin from the drawer they used for medical supplies. "Here. Have him put this on when he gets out of the shower." Liam smiled at Louis. "Thanks." Louis took the bandage and ointment and went to the living room and sat on the couch. Why did he care about this kid? He didn't even know his last name or even his age. But he couldn't just send him on his way to roam the streets with open wounds. And he looked like he hadn't slept in a while. Louis was doing the right thing..wasn't he? Louis sank into the couch and refreshed Twitter.

**Compose new Tweet...**

_A drug dealer is in my house using my shower lol txt it xx_

Louis chuckled to himself before erasing the words and putting his phone down and tried to focus on the TV. The Rovers were playing, and normally, not even the apocalypse could take Louis' attention away from the Rovers, but right now his mind was racing. _Why was his mind racing?_

"Do you like him?" Niall asked as he sat next to Louis.

"I just met him."

"That doesn't answer my question." Niall was a lot more straight forward than Liam was.

"I don't know. No. I don't really know him." He didn't. Did he? No, that's ridiculous.

"You've always had a terrible poker face." Louis raised his middle finger in Niall's face, and that was the end of that.

Harry emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later. The sweatpants looked like capris on his long, lean legs and the sleeves of Louis' The Fray t-shirt looked short, but his chest filled it out and looked better on him than it did on Louis. For once, Louis didn't mind if someone looked better than him.

"That was glorious. Thank you for letting me use your shower." Louis nodded and got up and took Harry's jeans, socks, and boxers and threw them in the washing machine with his shirt. "Aw, you don't have to wash those." Harry said, frowning.

"It's nothing. The least I can do." Louis smiled and motioned for Harry to follow him to his bedroom, well aware of the stares they were getting from his roommates. Louis flipped on his light and sat on his bed. Harry stood awkwardly before sitting down with his back against the bed and pulled his knees to his chest. "Thanks. Really. You didn't have to do all this."

"I know. Stay here tonight."

"I couldn't.."

"Shut up, please. Just stay here tonight."

"Why?" Harry looked at the carpet, avoiding Louis' eyes.

"So you can get some rest and let your face and arm heal a little. It's fine."

Harry took a deep breath before replying. "Thank you."

"There's one condition though." Louis sat up straighter, arching his back slightly.

"Oh?" Harry half smiled.

"Tell me more about you." Again, Louis didn't know why he cared so much, but it was only fair that he knew a little about someone he was letting sleep in his house.

"What do you want to know?" Harry was still hugging his knees.

"Whatever you're willing to tell me. Vent. Tell me whatever." Louis laid down on his stomach and let his head hang off the bed a good two feet away from Harry's head.

"Em. Well, my name's Harry Styles. I'm nineteen. I sell drugs." _Styles_. Huh.

"Okay. Keep going."

"Tell me your full name. And how old are you?"

"Tomlinson. I'm twenty one." Almost twenty two.

"I don't know what else to say." Harry said.

"For Christ sake. Is 'drug dealer' your only identifying factor?" Harry shook his head, looking a little offended. "Alright then. Let's ask questions back and forth."

"Okay."

"What's your biggest fear?"

Harry thought for a minute. "I don't know. I'm not really afraid of much."

"Bullshit." Louis rolled his eyes.

"Fine. I'm afraid of spiders. Who are Niall and Liam?"

"My roommates. Liam and I have been friends since grade six. Niall and I had met in theatre my first year of uni. They're my best friends. Tell me about your, um, _supplier_." Part of Louis didn't want to know, but a bigger part of him did.

Harry sighed and smiled a little. "His name's Zayn. He's the prettiest man I've ever seen." Harry looked Louis over. "Maybe the second prettiest."

Louis found himself speechless, which **never** happened.

"He's really good to me and Ellie. He's fair and he gives us a place to stay."

"W-what do you mean? Are you dating? Who's Ellie?" Louis was still frazzled. Cheeky bastard.

"Ellie's that blonde girl you saw at the club briefly. She deals too. And no, I wouldn't say we're dating." Harry was still smiling.

Louis thought, replaying the previous night to try and remember a blonde girl. Oh yeah, weird nose. "What does that mean?"

"We're definitely not dating. We just, um, get high and fuck sometimes." Harry's dimples became the most prominent at the pronunciation of the word 'fuck'. As sexy as that was, Louis frowned. "Oh. What do you get high on?"

"Um. Usually coke, honestly." Harry looked back at the ground.

Louis wrinkled his nose. "Why?"

"Why do we fuck or why coke?"

"Both."

"Fells good."

"Which one?"

"Both."

Louis rested his chin on the side of the bed, feeling defeated for reasons unbeknownst to himself.

"What're you studying at uni?" Harry's voice was so low and rugged. It didn't match his sweet face at all, but that made it better.

"Physics and theatre. Are you addicted to anything?"

Harry flinched. "N-no."

"Are you sure?" Louis looked at Harry's face. Harry had a slight case of acne, but he didn't _look_ like a drug addict.

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you react when I kissed you last night?" Louis held his breath, terrified of rejection from a kid he'd known for less than twenty four hours.

"You were on ex. Everyone gets horny on ex. They become attracted to people they normally wouldn't be. And I could tell you were lonely." Harry looked up at Louis. Louis let out his breath.

"How could you tell?"

"You looked empty that night. I dunno. I could just tell. Was I right?" Harry's eyes focused on Louis' face.

"Yeah, I guess. I just broke up with my boyfriend. Well, that's a lie. He broke up with me." Louis focused on a picture his little sister Fizzy had drawn him of their family he had hung on the wall.

"I'm sorry." Harry's eyes were drooping, the black one more so than the other one.

"It's okay. Are you sleepy?" Louis checked his phone. He had to be up at six the next morning to take his exam for physics.

"A little. Mind if I step out for a smoke?" Harry asked.

"Are you serious?" It came out louder than Louis anticipated.

"...Yes?" Harry stood up and pulled a pack of Marlboro Reds out of the pocket of Louis' sweatpants.

"It's freezing outside." Louis frowned.

"I'll be alright." Harry started to walk towards the door and watching him gave Louis pangs of anxiety.

"Can I join you?" Louis asked.

"If you'd like." Louis followed Harry to the living room where neither Liam nor Niall were anymore. Louis was thankful. Louis opened the front door and sat on the top step of the stairs. Harry joined and put a white cigarette in between his red lips and dug a lighter out of his pocket. He flicked it three times before the flame stayed and lit his cigarette, inhaling the toxic smoke. Louis hugged himself in the cold and watched as Harry inhaled and exhaled the milky white smoke. Louis had always found it attractive when attractive people smoked cigarettes, but it was equally unattractive when unattractive people did it. Louis remembered in grade nine when he'd stolen a pack of menthol cigarettes from his mom's then boyfriend and tried smoking them with Liam. It burned and he'd hated it, but even more so, it didn't look attractive when Louis did it. Louis couldn't make dying look beautiful. But Harry could. Harry definitely could.

Harry finished his cigarette and put it out on the concrete and followed Louis back inside.

"Take my bed. I'll sleep on the couch." Louis said, pulling an extra blanket out of the coat closet in the hall.

"No, I don't want to take your bed. I'll take the couch." Harry said.

"It's not up for debate." Louis stretched out on the couch and smiled at Harry.

Harry sighed, defeated. "Okay. Thank you, again."

"Stop thanking me. Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight, Louis." Harry's smile was the most magical place on earth.


	4. Breathing In The Snowflakes

**LOUIS' POV:**

Louis woke up at 5:15 the next morning with a stiff neck from sleeping on the couch. He stretched and rubbed his eyes. _Today was the big day: his physics exam. Ugh._ Louis popped his neck, sat up, and squinted in the darkness. "It should be illegal to wake up before the sun." Louis thought. His bones creaked when he stood up and he walked towards his room by memory in the darkness, only tripping into the coffee table once. Louis placed his hand on the knob, unsure if Harry was a light or heavy sleeper. He didn't want to wake him, but he also couldn't go to school in just his boxers. Louis turned the knob slowly, lifting it a little so the door wouldn't groan when he pushed it open. Harry had left the light on, the orangey light illuminating his form curled up under the covers. He was snoring lightly and his curls lay out around his head like a halo, making him look even more angelic as usual. Harry didn't stir as Louis grabbed a plain white t-shirt, dark wash boot cut jeans, a leather jacket, and brown motorcycle boots. Louis wondered what Harry's apartment looked like. Drug dealers make a lot of money, right? Louis caught himself smiling while he watched the little cherub slumber. Louis moved a stray curl from Harry's forehead and went to the bathroom to change and brush his teeth. Louis went to the kitchen and prepared himself a thermos of fresh black coffee; not because he liked the taste, but because it would keep him focused. Louis noticed a post-it note on the counter.

**Good luck, Lou! xx Liam & Niall**

Louis smiled and grabbed an orange pen from his pocket.

**Thanks! :)**

Louis grabbed his notes, three sharpened number two pencils, and his keys and left the house. The cold air froze Louis' cheeks while he walked to his car that was covered in a thin layer of morning snow. Louis wiped the windshield and turned the ignition. He sat in the car for five minutes reviewing his notes while his car warmed up. Louis pulled into a front parking space, seeing as though the lot was mostly empty at fifteen to six in the morning. Louis braced himself for the short hike to class before getting out of the warm car and facing the winter weather again. Listening to his boots crunch the snow under his feet make him nostalgic.

The exam itself took three hours. Louis knew how to solve most of the questions, but he still checked his math twice before bubbling in his final answers. Remembering the formulas came easier than he thought, which made him confident. Louis had always been an excellent student and the lowest grade he'd ever gotten was a barely passing grade in an art class in year seven, but he still got nervous for exams. After going through two of his three pencils and the three hours were up, Louis scrawled his name on his scantron and walked it up to his elderly professor with a permanent frown. Louis let out a deep breath as he walked back to his car, watching his warm breath ascend into the blueish grey morning. The joints in his hands ached from the freezing steering wheel and he hummed along to a Stevie Wonder song on the radio.

Louis opened the front door and found Liam playing the new Grand Theft Auto V.

"How'd it go?" Liam asked while his character shot a gang member right in the face.

"Hopefully good." Louis peeled off his jacket and boots.

"You probably aced it as always."

Louis shrugged, even though he knew Liam was right. "Do you know if Harry's up?"

"I dunno. YES! YES!" Liam shouted at the TV, his character had just outran virtual cops.

Louis opened the door to his bedroom to find Harry exactly where he'd left him, but this time sunlight trickled in through the blinds and left lines of gold across Harry's face. Harry was beautiful. Not classically, but he was exactly Louis' taste physically. He was built without being too hard, he had a baby face that wasn't always a baby face, and those curls. Louis sat at the edge of the bed and Harry immediately rolled to face him, his eyes squinty but his emerald irises gleaming in the sunlight. "Mmm?"

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you." Louis whispered, preparing to get up and leave.

"Louis.." Harry exhaled, half into the pillow. Louis had never liked his name until that very moment, when Harry sighed it into the room.

"Yes Harry?" Louis was still whispering.

Harry held out his arms. "Comere."

Louis' stomach did a double flip and in less than two seconds, he slid into the covers and became Harry's little spoon. Harry's big arms enveloped Louis as his waist and Louis could feel Harry's breath on the back of his neck. Louis tried to breath normally, despite the rapid beating of his heart. Within seconds, Harry was snoring lightly again. Louis matched his breathing with Harry's and closed his eyes.

**Harry's POV:**

Harry woke up and before opening his eyes, he could already tell this was the best nights sleep he'd had in over a year. Harry squeezed what was under his left hand. _It was Louis' thigh._ God, Louis' thigh was more muscular than Harry had imagined. Harry opened his eyes slowly and was met with auburn hair that smelled like peaches. Harry listened. Louis was breathing evenly. He must be sleeping. Harry vaguely remembered inviting Louis to cuddle and felt his heart skip a beat. He'd been replaying the time Louis had kissed him over and over in his head since it happened, and had always assumed it was just the drugs and that it didn't mean anything. But then why had Louis climbed into bed with him? Maybe he was just lonely. Harry refused to be a rebound. And what would Louis want with someone like him anyway? Harry pulled his right arm from under Louis and sat up, popping his neck.

" _Fuck_." A burning pain shot from Harry eye to his lip, to his temple, and finally and most intensely to his arm. Harry hissed.

Louis shot up. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" Louis' kind blue eyes filled with concern.

"Hurts.." Harry was on the verge of tears, it hurt so much. He got up and ran to the bathroom before emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet. Harry couldn't tell if it was because he was in so much pain or because of all the coke he'd done last night. Probably a mixture of both. There was a light but panicked tapping on the door.

"Harry? I have some water and an ice pack for you. Is everything okay?" Louis' voice was soft and melodic, it made Harry forget about the pain for a split second. He flushed and got up to open the door, his legs wobbly like a baby deer's. There Louis stood, looking incredibly nurturing standing in the doorway with a blue plastic cup of ice water in one hand and a bright purple ice pack in the shape of an octopus in the other.

"Thank you." Harry placed the adorable ice pack to his temple and hissed again.

"You seemed completely fine last night. You weren't in pain at all." Louis frowned. _Yeah, that's the beauty of pure Colombian cocaine._

"Do you happen to have an extra toothbrush?" Harry asked. He could feel the stomach acid burning in mouth.

Louis entered the bathroom and grabbed a packaged child's toothbrush from a drawer by the sink. "Sorry it's a bit small." Louis had bed head and it was one of the sexiest things Harry had ever laid eyes on. "Thanks." He smiled. Louis smiled back, still looking worried before leaving Harry to brush his teeth. Harry turned and almost jumped when he saw his reflection. He looked like absolute shit. His eye was purple all around and swollen, making it not open as much as the other one and the small gash on his temple was deep swollen as well. Harry rolled up the sleeve of Louis' shirt that he was wearing and hissed again as new air touched his wound. The gash was purpleish at the edges and bright red in the center. Fresh blood accumulated at the surface and Harry felt like he could see his own muscle, but it wasn't infected, thank God. Harry brushed his teeth with the tiny toothbrush and then took long, deep breaths to stop his head from spinning. _I need it. No I don't. I want it. But I don't want to want it._ Harry knew that if he could get a hold of just a couple lines, he wouldn't hurt anymore. Harry checked his phone. No missed calls or texts. Not even from Ellie. Harry sighed left the bathroom and found Louis and Liam sitting on the couch. Louis stood up and handed Harry two little white Asprins. Harry stared at them in his palm.

"Should help your pain and reduce the swelling." Louis was so fucking cute, but he had no idea. Harry had fucked his tolerance up with painkillers. The two Asprin wouldn't even make a dent in Harry's pain. Harry had done way too much hydrocodone in the past year. He took the pills anyway. "Thank you. I think I"m feeling a little better." Harry lied.

"Your clothes are clean. Louis got your shirt good as new." Liam handed Harry his t-shirt, jeans and socks, all still warm from the dryer. Harry hugged them. They smelled like flowers. "Thank you so much." Harry hadn't had clean clothes from a real washing machine in weeks. He usually just washed them in the bathtub at Zayn's apartment with hand soap and hung them up to dry.

"No problem. Are you feeling alright?" Louis asked, moving one of Harry's curls from his face which made him self conscious. He didn't want Louis seeing him like this.

"Yes, much better." Harry tried to sound more sure than he was. "I really need to be going. Thank you guys so much for letting me crash here. Sorry I took over your bed, Louis. I'm just gonna change and get going." Harry returned to the bathroom and all but started to cry when he removed Louis' shirt and put his own back on, being sure to roll the sleeve up so he wouldn't get blood on it again. The warm socks felt like heaven on Harry's feet.

Harry grabbed Louis' clothes and brought them out to the living room. "Where should I put these?"

"I'll get them." Louis took the bundle of clothes and set them down on the couch. "Do you need a ride home?"

_Yes that would be lovely, you have no idea._ "Nah, that's okay. Thank you again. For everything. Your bed is heavenly." Harry swore he saw Louis blush.

"It was no problem really."

Harry smiled and walked towards the door, finding his shoes next to it and slipped them on. "Have a good rest of your day." Harry's temple throbbed.

"You too." Louis had a really fucking adorable crooked smile.

Harry opened the door and ventured into the cold, realizing Louis was still wearing his necklace. He almost turned back to get it, but decided against it. It would give Harry a reason to come back. Not that he was smitten. No, that would be dumb.

Harry shivered as he descended the stairs and pulled his wallet out of his pocket. He was only twenty short of having enough to pay Zayn for the drugs that were stolen last night and to get just enough coke to make him forget about the pain pulsing through his very being. Harry scanned the street while he walked. He noticed a couple, a man and a woman, walking across the street. The man was pulling the woman. She kept telling him to slow down and the man kept telling her to hurry the fuck up. Harry crossed the street and caught up to them, bumping into the guy from the side and slipping his hand into the guy's pocket swiftly and expertly.

"Shit, sorry." Harry apologized as he slipped a black leather wallet into his pocket.

"Watch where you're fucking going." The guy spat before walking away.

"Dick." Harry muttered as he inspected the contents of the wallet. He threw the guy's ID down on the street and found thirty in cash. Harry had been expecting more, but it was enough for now. He jogged the five blocks to Zayn's apartment.

The grey concrete slab of a building was an eyesore, but it was home. The doors were also grey, as were the stairs. Harry climbed to the third floor and went to apartment 34A and opened the door. It was always unlocked, and Harry had never thought to ask Zayn why. It was an efficiency apartment, the "kitchen" consisted of one small counter with a broken microwave on it and dishes overflowing from the sink. Zayn had ripped the door off the one cabinet they had in an opiate rage one night. The livngroom/diningroom/bedroom was all compressed to the size of an average kid's room. There was a ratted sheet-less mattress in one corner where Zayn slept and two blankets in another corner where Harry and Ellie slept. The bathroom was small and moldy. Zayn was counting money on his mattress and Ellie was sitting on a blanket reading. Zayn held out his hand without looking at Harry. Harry grabbed his cash an handed it to Zayn.

"Can I get a couple lines?" Harry whimpered, pressing his fingers to his forehead.

Zayn looked up after counted the cash Harry had given him. "Fine. You look like hell."

"Thanks." Zayn lifted the mattress and grabbed a small baggie with snow white powder in it and tossed it to Harry. Harry caught it and sat next to Ellie.

"Fuck. Are you okay?" Ellie grimaced at Harry's wounds.

"About to be." Harry opened a book he kept under his blanket at held his razor blade. He emptied the white powder on the cover of it and immediate felt bad because it was a copy of the First Testament. That didn't stop him from arranging three straight thick lines of white glittering powder. The little crystals reminded Harry of thousands of little stars in the night sky. He licked the tip of his finger and dabbed it in the end of one of the lines and spread it on his bottom gums. The tingly numb feeling was comforting and made Harry's heart race. Harry pressed in one of his nostrils and breathed in line after line after line with the other and tilted his head back, feeling the coke drip down his nasal cavity and into his throat. It was bitter and it hurt his nose, but he felt instantly better. He loved feeling static within his body and felt the pain ease until he couldn't feel anything anymore. And now he felt at home.


	5. For The First Time

Louis didn't hear from Harry for three days. Three agonizing days. Louis didn't text anyone first, that was his rule. The only exceptions were his mum, sisters, Liam, or occasionally Niall. Louis made sure he cared the least in most of his relationships and friendships to avoid getting hurt, and it had worked thus far. Not that he fancied Harry. No, that would be ridiculous. In a year and a half's time, Louis would be a university graduate and Harry would most likely still be a drug dealer. Or dead. Thinking about the fact that Harry had gotten beat up for drugs made Louis' stomach churn. The fact that Harry didn't seem terrified out of his fucking mind made his stomach churn even more.

In those three days, Louis had gotten his physics exam score back, and no one was surprised at his one hundred and three percent score. Louis knew he was intelligent, but he didn't really feel like he had an excuse not to be. He came from a very smart mom who passed on her passion for knowledge to her one and only son. Louis was always that kid that woke up in the morning and looked forward to school. Applying to uni was the most exciting thing to him, and listening to professors explain new information made Louis more excited than most kids got when they got a new video game. This isn't to say that Louis was a nerd in school. Somehow, he'd found the balance between jock, theatre kid, and advanced placement student.

On the third day of not hearing from Harry, Louis swallowed his pride and sent the text message he'd been at war with himself about.

**Hey.**

Louis hated himself for sending it. _Now I sound desperate. Should I send another saying that I texted the wrong person? No, that'll sound even more desperate. Fuck._ Louis' internal battle was interrupted by a _ding_. He held his breath and pressed open.

**Hey necklace thief. What's up?**

Louis reached up to the gold charm and felt it with his fingertips. He hadn't taken it off yet.

**Wondering when you're gonna come get your necklace.**

Louis was a grade A flirt and he prided himself on this. _Why am I flirting with him? Oh, right. Because I want to fuck his brains out._ Which was true, but this time was different than most. Louis wasn't a cuddler unless it was with Liam, but he sometimes caved if it was post-fuck. Yet, he'd cuddled with Harry the other day without hesitation. Louis brushed it off because he was lonely.

**How about right now?**

Louis heard Liam's bed creaking and wanted to throw up. Liam's "friend" Sophia was over.

**Meet me at the cafe on the corner by my flat in 20.**

Louis was talking about the tiny coffee shop close enough to campus to always be full of hipster kids too cool for Starbucks. Louis was one of these hipsters, but he didn't like admitting it.

**It's a date :)**

It was then that Louis knew he had a very strong chance at least getting his dick sucked by this curly headed boy with the high quality porn voice. Louis went to his room and put on dark wash skinnys, a grey t-shirt and his black Vans. He looked out his foggy bedroom window at the snow that continued to pile on the ground and decided to put on his black peasant coat that fit him snugly around his middle. He used a round brush and a fine toothed comb to tease his quiff to perfection and walked to the front door. Right before he stepped out, he heard a less than subtle feminine moan erupt from Liam's closed bedroom door. Louis slammed the door closed.

He whistled while he walked down the sidewalk. It was almost too cold to be outside, but Louis could see the cafe from his flat. When he entered, he saw Harry sitting at a small table in the corner. He looked almost exactly like everyone else there: tight pants, Chelsea boots, v-neck, but he stood out to Louis. Louis walked up to the counter and ordered hot tea and unclasped the necklace. Harry hadn't noticed him yet. Louis grabbed his tea and came up behind Harry, holding the necklace at each end and putting it around Harry's neck and clasping it. Harry stood still until the necklace was fastened before turning his head around and smiling brighter than any of the twinkling fluorescent lights overhead. 

"Thanks!" Harry's dimples were Louis' new religion. Harry's face had healed nicely. His black eye was gone and his cuts were scabbed over and not swollen anymore at all.

"No problem." Louis slid into the chair across from Harry's. "How's your day?"

Harry looked Louis over before answering. "Much better, now." _That smooth little shit._

"Good." Louis took a sip of his tea to stifle the smile creeping to his lips. "You didn't order anything?"

"Nah. I don't need any caffeine right now." Harry's hands were fidgety. "Forgot to ask the other day, how was your exam?"

"How did you know I took an exam?" Louis raised an eyebrow. He didn't remember telling Harry about it.

"I woke up when you were taking it. I walked out to your kitchen and saw the note your flatmates left you." Harry's voice was velvet.

"Oh, right. Um, I did pretty well."

"Should've expected as much. What was it for?"

"Physics."

"Shit. Handsome and brilliant." Harry looked genuinely impressed.

Louis wasn't prepared for that and had no time to stop himself from blushing. "I wouldn't call myself brilliant."

"AND humble." Harry smiled again. Louis pursed his lips. Harry was either a really smooth talker, or he was just being nice. Louis shrugged, taking another sip.

The door to the coffee shop opened and a group of fifteen teenagers barged in, laughing obnoxiously. Louis groaned.

This was his perfect opportunity. "Wanna get out of here?" He asked Harry.

"Sure. Where would you like to go?" Harry and Louis stood up at the same time.

"My place?" Louis bit his lower lip.

Harry looked at Louis for a moment. "Yeah, okay." _Oh my god._

They walked down the sidewalk towards Louis' flat side by side. Louis noticed that they were walking in sync. They didn't speak as they climbed the stairs up to Louis' door and when they entered the flat, Sophia and Liam were cuddling on the couch watching a movie. Sophia was wearing one of Liam's shirts and Louis couldn't tell if she was wearing anything else. He preferred not knowing. Louis made eye contact with Liam and tried to telepathically tell him that he was about to try and bone Harry and not to bother them. By Liam's smirk, Louis figured he got the message. Harry smiled at Liam and Sophia as they passed them on the way to Louis' room.

Harry went straight to Louis' keyboard piano. "Do you play?" He asked as he sat on the stool in front of it and put his fingers on top of some of the keys.

"A bit. Do you?" Louis peeled off his coat and threw it on the floor.

"Not at all." Louis smiled. This was going to be perfect.

"Here, I'll teach you." Louis came up behind Harry, putting his hands on the keys around him, his chest against Harry's back. "Follow my lead." Louis pressed keys slowly and Harry tried his best to keep up, clumsily hitting two keys at once accidentally and giggling. "You're doing well." Louis lied. Louis' head was right next to Harry's. Harry stopped trying to follow and watched Louis' hands as he played the intro to The Fray's How To Save A Life.

Once Louis hit the final note, Harry turned his head to look at Louis. "That was really good. I like that song." Harry's warm breath hit Louis' cheek.

"Thanks. I like you." Louis turned his head slightly and their lips were touching. Louis kissed Harry and Harry kissed back. Louis put his hand on Harry's hip and he felt Harry's back arch. Louis' other hand reached up to Harry's neck and he felt the chain the his cross necklace. As they kissed, Louis wondered if this was against Harry's religion. He wondered how religious Harry was, if he went to church, if he'd gotten his religion from his parents, if his pastor would be upset that this was happening. Louis wondered if that cross necklace meant more to him than it did to Harry. Harry swiveled around in the stool to face Louis, never breaking their kiss. He put his big hands on Louis' hips and pulled Louis closer. Louis sat on Harry's lap and brought both of his hands to Harry's chiseled jaw. Their tongues moved together rhythm and Louis grinded his hips against Harry's. Harry let out a small moan into Louis' mouth and Louis felt something stiffen in Harry's tight jeans underneath him.

Louis pulled his mouth away and looked into Harry's eyes. Harry's lips trembled. Louis slid off of Harry's lap and onto the floor on his knees. Harry looked down at him with wide eyes. Louis went for the button on Harry's jeans. Harry didn't protest, so he unzipped his zipper and slid his hand down and felt Harry's rock hard dick through his boxers. Louis moaned when he felt how massive it was and stroked it, not breaking eye contact with Harry. Harry's eyes rolled back as we whimpered at Louis' touch. Louis was too excited to be a tease, so he tugged at the waist of Harry's jeans. Harry lifted up to Louis could pull his jeans off, taking his boxers with him. Harry's dick stood straight up, and Louis stopped for a minute to admire it. As far as dicks went, Harry had a pretty one. It was huge, first of all, and it wasn't all discolored or veiny like some of the dicks Louis had been in contact with. Louis started at the base and ran his tongue the length of the underside of Harry's cock. Harry's hips jerked and moaned, running his fingers through Louis' hair as if he knew that's what drove Louis wild. Louis put the tip in his mouth and twirled his tongue around it before taking the whole thing in his mouth. Louis was a master at controlling his gag reflex.

"Louis oh my god." Harry whimpered. Louis bobbed his head up and down and varying speeds until his own dick became rock hard. "Harry.." Louis pulled his head up and looked at Harry.

Harry stood up, pulling Louis up with him, pulling off his own shirt and then Louis' shirt and kissing him as they fell onto the bed. "Want..you.." Harry said in between kisses.

"What do you want?" Louis whispered into Harry's mouth.

"You. To fuck me." Hearing Harry say that was almost enough to make Louis come right then and there. Louis wiggled out of his pants and boxers and turned back to Harry, who was on his hands and knees. Louis stood on his knees and pressed against Harry's bum. Harry pressed back, arching his glorious muscular back. "Louis.."

Louis got the tip in. Harry was impossibly tight, but he still pressed against Louis, getting more and more inside him. They both moaned as Louis pumped in and out of Harry, going slowly at first and then going faster and faster. Harry bit Louis' pillow and moaned the word "yes" over and over until Louis pulled out and came on Harry's back.

Harry moaned a few seconds after Louis had busted and collapsed on his stomach breathing hard. "Oh my god." This wasn't an uncommon reaction after Louis fucked someone; Louis was good at sex and he knew it. Harry was already one of the best Louis had ever had. He was an expert with his hips, he didn't just lay there and take it like some of the guys Louis had been with. Louis' legs shook as he laid down next to Harry. He hadn't come that hard in a very long time. Louis was still breathing hard as he turned to Harry jumped. There was blood trickling down Harry's face from his nose.

Harry saw the look of horror in Louis face and brought his hand up to his face, feeling the blood. "Fuck I'm sorry. Do you have a tissue?"

Louis reached over to his nightstand and pulled two tissues out of the box and handed them to Harry. "I didn't push your face down too hard, did I?"

"No, no. This happens sometimes." Harry cleaned the blood off his face and pressed the tissues to his nose.

"Oh."

"That was really good." Harry said.

"Yeah. It really was." Louis looked at Harry who was laying naked in his bed. Harry was long and lean. Most of his muscles were defined, but not bulging, exactly how Louis liked.

"Why do you sell drugs?" Right when the sentence left Louis' mouth, he regretted it.

Harry looked like he'd just been hit in the face. "Because I have to."

"No you don't." Louis said. He'd already ruined the moment.

Harry sighed. "I knew this was going to happen."

"What?"

"You think you're better than me."

Louis frowned. "No I don't."

"Yes you do." Harry sat up. "You're going to try to fix me now. We had a good fuck and now you're going to try to get me to stop dealing and get me off drugs for good so you won't feel embarrassed to keep fucking me."

Louis froze. "What drugs are you doing?"

Harry laughed. "Are you kidding me? Adults noses don't just bleed out of nowhere."

Louis stared blankly at Harry, trying to process all of this.

"For Christ's sake. Cocaine. I do cocaine."

"How often?" Louis' voice was small.

"Every day."

"You said you weren't addicted to anything." Louis felt sick.

"Yeah, well. I guess I lied. See, you think you're better than me."

"You could stop. You could get a real job. It's not that difficult." Louis' voice was shaking.

Harry rolled his eyes and got off the bed and started putting his clothes back on. "Not that difficult?" He scoffed. "Yeah, okay. Well this was fun, Louis. I had a really good time until right now. We should do it again when you get over yourself."

"No. Don't leave. Please. I can help you." Louis got up and pulled on football shorts.

Harry looked at him and sighed. "It's not that simple. I can't just stop, first of all. That's what makes me an addict. Second of all, I don't want to get a 'real job', I'm doing fine right now. I have a roof over my head. I'm doing fine." Harry didn't sound like he believed what he was saying.

"I could help you." Louis repeated.

Harry shook his head. "No. I'm sorry. I'm leaving. You don't understand." Harry opened the door and left the room. Louis ran after him to the living room. Liam and Sophia watched as Harry walked out the front door and Louis followed him.

The cold air hit Louis' bare chest and legs and stung. Harry stopped and turned around. "Just forget this ever happened, okay? And you're not better than me. The first time we met, you were buying drugs from me, so fuck off."

"Harry.."

"No. Goodbye Louis. Go back inside." Louis' knees locked as he watched Harry go down the stairs.


	6. Chapter 6

It was now December 23rd, the day before Louis' birthday, and Louis hadn't heard from Harry in over a week. He sat on the stairs next to his flat in Liam's oversized grey hoodie Louis gave in today and texted Harry.

**What's up?**

As soon as he pressed send, he regretted it. He sounded clingy and stupid and he desperately wished he could grab the message and crumple it up before it reached Harry's phone. Louis shoved his phone in the front pocket of the oversized hoodie. He exhaled and watched his own illuminated white breath rise into the air and disperse into nothing. Louis was in a weird place in his life. He would be graduating uni in a year and a half, and then he would go on to teach. He'd just gotten out of the only real relationship he'd ever been in, and he found himself letting a curly headed drug dealer invade his thoughts lately. Just a few days prior, Louis had drunkenly texted Stan back. Stan ended up coming over to the flat, and Louis had intended on sleeping with him, but as soon as he opened the door, he knew he didn't want to. Stan didn't have dimples or resemble an angel in any way, and that's all Louis had been wanting. Since then, he'd deleted Stan's number and decided to contact Harry. Today was the first time he'd gotten the balls to do it, but now he felt sick.

_Buzz._

Louis grabbed his phone at lightning speed and pressed open.

**Can I talk to you? If you're busy, it's okay.**

Louis was shivering in the late December midday wind. Nother good ever comes from "Can I talk to you?", and Louis really wanted to just say no, but before he realized what he was doing, he pressed send.

**Of course, come over?**

_Buzz_

**Okay.**

Louis' joints in his knees popped when he stood. He went inside, passing Niall playing Fruit Ninja on his phone and Liam humming while making a popcorn garland for the giant Christmas tree they'd all lugged up to the flat the prior night. Liam insisted on a real tree every year, and that it wasn't Christmas without one. It reminded Louis of his mum's, so he didn't mind. Louis went to his room and slipped into grey skinnies and a teal v-neck. Tonight his mum and sisters were coming over for his birthday, like they did every year. Since he was born, Louis' mum had been with him every midnight into his birthday. It was a tradition he used to think was lame when he was younger, that he wanted to spend time with his friends and get plastered on his birthday, but now he appreciated everything his mother did. The girls would be arriving in a couple hours. They were probably going to eat dinner, drink hot cocoa, Louis would open his birthday presents and they would watch a Christmas movie until the clock chimed twelve and abrupt into the infamous birthday song Louis secretly loved.

Louis squinted at himself in the mirror and ran his fingers through his feathered fringe. He'd finally gotten the perfect amount of stubble on his face to look rugged, but still clean cut. He wondered what Harry needed to talk to him about. What could it possibly be? Maybe it would be good. Maybe-

Louis heard a faint knock on the front door. He rushed to beat Liam and Niall to the door, but Niall had already gotten it.

"Oh. Hi Harry." Niall stepped aside and Harry entered the living room clad in a flannel shirt, beat up leather jacket, the same boots and pants he'd worn every time Louis had seen him, and snow flurries in his curls.He smiled at Louis, but his eyes looked vacant.

"Hey." Louis tried his best to sound nonchalant. He motioned at his room with his head and led the way. Harry followed and stood in the middle of Louis' room with his hands in his pockets.

"So. Um, what's up?" Louis wasn't sure whether he should sit on his bed or not, but he felt weird just standing there fiddling with his hands, so he decided to sit on the stool in front of his keyboard.

"You got what you wanted." Harry said, looking down at the carpet.

"What do you mean?" Louis asked slowly, being especially mindful of his tone.

"I don't sell drugs anymore." Harry's eyes didn't leave the floor.

"That's great!" Louis stood up. He wanted to hug Harry, but chickened out mid stride towards him, so he tried playing it off by putting his hand on the back of his own neck.

"Innit?" Harry didn't sound convinced.

"What happened?" Louis asked. Harry's melancholy vibes were giving Louis anxiety. He didn't know what could've gone so wrong. Harry was standing there in front of him looking better than ever, if a bit dirty. His wounds were barely visible.

Harry cleared his throat before answering. "Zayn's in jail. I don't have a supplier anymore. Or a home. But at least I'm not dealing, right?" Harry finally looked up at Louis. Louis almost stepped back. Harry's smile was fake and his eyes were red and bagged. His face was still breaking out. He looked terrible, actually.

"Wait..what?" Louis had heard him, but the information hadn't processed yet.

"Zayn sold to an undercover cop and got busted. Ellie and I were out and the apartment's locked. So, yeah." Harry sounded so defeated.

"How long ago did this happen?"

"Four days ago."

"You've been homeless for four days!?" Louis shouted.

Harry winced at Louis' raised voice. "..yeah."

"What the hell, why didn't you come here?" Louis bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from shouting again.

Harry looked at him like he was an idiot. "Are you kidding? Yeah, oh hey Louis, I know we fought last time we talked, but I'm homeless, let me crash at yours again. Oh and can I bring my roommate too? Yeah right."

"No, that would have worked, actually. Where is Ellie?" Louis didn't even fully remember what Ellie looked like, but he found himself concerned for her well-being.

"At the cafe we went to that one time."

"Where have you been sleeping?"

"Haven't, really." Harry said it like it was no big deal.

"How is that possible?"

"Well, Louis, when you're coming off of drugs, you get the shakes when you try to sleep and it's incredibly uncomfortable so it's easier to just not sleep."

Louis felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. "What are you addicted to?"

Louis could tell Harry was thinking about lying, but he must have decided against it. "Coke."

Louis' chest tightened and his breath caught in his throat. Even if he had anything to say, he wouldn't be able to.

"But hey, I have no way of getting it, so." Harry shrugged.

Louis swallowed hard and grabbed his own leather jacket.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked, watching Louis slip his arms into each leather sleeve.

"To get Ellie. Both of you are gonna stay here for awhile." Louis didn't know what he was thinking, but it felt right.

"Louis-"

"No. Don't give me some bullshit _we couldn't_ because yes, in fact, you can. And you will." Louis opened his door and marched into the kitchen where Liam was putting something in the oven and Niall was opening a beer.

"Hey, so I know this is short notice or whatever, but Harry and his roommate Ellie are in a weird housing situation right now. Is it cool if they crash for a couple days?" Louis held his breath after the last syllable and anticipated looks of concern from his flatmates.

"Sure." Liam answered as if Louis had asked if he wanted to play a game of Madden. Niall just nodded while he sipped from his Corona.

"Oh. Okay, excellent." Louis kept his eyes on Liam and Niall as he inched out of the kitchen, but they didn't share any glances or looks of disgust. Louis then looked at Harry who stood by the couch looking kind of terrified.

"Let's go." Louis opened the door and Harry hesitated, but ended up following.

"We'll be gone by tomorrow." Harry said, his voice cracking from the cold as they walked down the stairs and headed towards the cafe.

"You'll stay until you have some other place to live."

Harry sighed.

A bell jingled as Louis pushed the door to the cafe open and spotted Ellie immediately, even though he'd been questioning her features in his head during the walk. She sat in a chair in the corner in a pink jumper and regular boot cut jeans and plain white sneakers. Her long blonde hair was wavy and unwashed and fell down to her chest. She was cuter than Louis remembered.

She looked up and her eyes darted from Louis to Harry and she looked like she was about to cry.

Harry approached her first, hugging her tightly. "Hey. Louis wants us to stay with him for a couple days. It's a nice place, it's really warm. You'll like it." Harry's voice was now soothing and low, different from when he'd talked to Louis just minutes before.

Ellie looked back at Louis as if she was waiting for him to start laughing and yell _just kidding!_. But Louis just stood there and smiled at her. She looked back at Harry.

"Are you sure?" Her voice was even smaller than she was.

"Yeah. Come on." Harry held out his hand and she looked again at Louis before taking it and standing up.

"Thank you." She squeaked.

Louis nodded. "No problem. My place is really close, we won't be in the cold for very long."

None of them spoke a word until Louis opened his front door.

"Wow. Oh my gosh. Wow." Ellie's eyes widened as she admired the tree.

"Yeah, it was a pain in the arse to get in here, but it really brightens up the place and makes it more cheerful, don't you think?"

Ellie nodded, looking in awe at her reflection in a gold tinted bulb ornament.

"You and Harry can take my room." Louis said, looking at Harry to see if that was alright.

"Hi." Louis turned to see Niall staring at Ellie. Ellie turned slowly.

"Hi."

"M'Niall. Louis' flatmate. And you can take my room, actually. So you can have some privacy and your own bed." Niall was a smooth talker. Louis raised his eyebrow in Niall's direction.

"Oh, no, that's okay. I can take the couch. Or the floor. It really doesn't matter, it's so warm in here, I think I'd be comfortable anywhere." Ellie smiled genuinely like she actually meant it. It occurred to Louis that she might.

"Don't be silly. I'm gonna take the couch, I sleep there most nights anyway." Niall looked at Louis for backup.

"It's true, _Ellie_ , he really does." Louis enunciated her name, hoping Niall would catch it.

"Yeah, so please, take it. It's right in here." Niall walked to his bedroom door and opened it. Louis peered in to see that it was surprisingly clean. "Let me just put some fresh sheets on and you'll be good to go."

Just like that, tears started falling down Ellie's face.

"Whoa, what's wrong? Did I say something?" Niall bit his lower lip and frowned.

"No..no. You're just so nice." Ellie sniffed. "You don't have to do this, really. I'm sorry for barging into your home. I don't want to take your room." Ellie wiped her eyes and Harry put his arm around her shoulders.

"Shh, it's alright. Do me a favor and take my room, okay? Just sleep in it tonight and if you don't like it, you don't have to stay." Niall was only sweet to pretty girls. He'd never offered his room to Louis. Hell, anytime Louis entered his room, Niall would throw things at him and tell him to get out.

"Th-thank you." Ellie stepped forward, got on her tip-toes and wrapped her arms around Niall's shoulders. Niall wrapped his own arms around her small waist and for a second, he looked tall compared to the tiny blonde struggling to reach his shoulders.

Louis couldn't help but smile at his mate's generosity. "So I guess you'll be staying in my room again." He said to Harry.

"Only if you'll stay with me."

Louis' heart pounded. "Oh?"

"Considering your couch is taken." Harry gestured at Niall, who was now showing Ellie his room.

"Right. Okay."

Suddenly, the front door opened and two almost identical blonde adolescents ran inside straight to Louis. He's almost forgotten about his birthday. Daisy and Phoebe attached themselves to each of Louis' legs, just like they'd always done, even though they were a little too big for it now.

"Lou!" They screamed in unison.

"Hey nuggets." Louis ruffled their hair and they made faces.

Lottie and Fizzy entered the house next. "Christ it's fucking freezing!" Lottie whined.

"Charlotte, language!" Louis' mum walked in the flat next. "My birthday boy!" She held her arms out and Louis ran up and hugged her tightly. Louis' mum was his favourite person in the entire world, and seeing her was always exciting. "S'not my birthday quite yet, mum." He reminded her.

"Ah yes, but you haven't got much longer to go. Niall, Liam! My other two sons! C'mere!" Liam emerged from the kitched and he and Niall hugged Jay together, but almost as excited as Louis to see her.

Louis looked back at Harry and Ellie standing awkwardly in the back by themselves. "Mum, this is Harry and Ellie. My..friends." Louis knew that 'friends' wasn't exactly the right word, but he didn't feel like explaining the whole situation to his family.

"Hello hello! Nice to meet you!" Jay smiled widely at them.

"You too." Harry smiled back equally as wide and Ellie almost as wide.

"Louis didn't tell me it was his birthday." Harry said, looking at Louis.

"Must've slipped my mind." Louis shrugged.

"Slipped your mind? Aren't you the one who constantly has a countdown to his next birthday on his phone at all times?" Fizzy laughed.

"Shut up, I do not!"

"And if I'm not mistaken, you're my child who insisted we celebrate your half birthday as well until you were sixteen.." Louis' mum said.

"Right, well..it is my birthday tomorrow."

"I would have gotten you something.." Harry said, pursing his lips.

"Nah, it's all good. You're here, that's good enough." Louis hadn't realized how coupley that sounded until it was already spoken. _Shit_.

The flat's dining room table only sat five, so Louis, Niall, Liam, Harry, Ellie, his mum, and his sisters cleared the living room floor and ate a succulent pot roast Liam had prepared on pillows. Harry and Ellie ate quickly, as if they hadn't eaten in the same amount of time that they hadn't slept, and that broke Louis' heart. They didn't look or act like addicts, they looked like regular teenagers/young adults. Louis had a preconceived notion in his head that an addict was always going to look grungey and mean, with baggy clothes and grey skin. Not like an angel or a pretty blonde girl.

Just as Louis predicted, after they ate, Liam and Niall made hot cocoa and distributed the mugs out to everyone and they all sat on the floor on the same pillows and watched Elf together. Louis and Harry sat next to each other, and during the scene where Will Ferrell starts to sing along to Zooey Deschannel singing Baby It's Cold Outside in the shower, Harry rested his head on Louis' shoulder. Louis heart skipped a few beats and he rested his head on Harry's. It felt comfortable, like they'd done this before a thousand times. They stayed like that until the movie ended.

There was still an hour left before midnight. Lottie suggested they play a game. The only board game Louis, Niall and Liam owned was Scrabble, and they had two of them. They set up two games because ten people in one game was a little ridiculous. Niall, Liam, Daisy, Phoebe and Fizzy played one game while Louis, Harry, Jay, and Lottie played the other. Louis was a terrible speller, but he was always competitive with any game, even if he was absolute shit at it. Harry ended up winning their game by over one hundred points. Jay applauded him and Louis was almost taken aback by Harry's vocabulary. Harry had played the word "muzjiks", which were apparently Russian peasants. Louis didn't believe him until he looked it up in the dictionary and sure enough, there it was.

"Okay guys, ten, nine.." Liam started the countdown into Louis' birthday. Everyone joined and at zero, they all started to sing Happy Birthday at slightly different times. Louis loved the attention his birthday ensued, so he sat on his pillow and enjoyed watching nine people he cared about sing to him with a big dumb grin on his face. He opened his presents next. He god a sweater from Lottie, a scarf from both Daisy and Phoebe, a new shirtless David Beckham poster from Fizzy, the new iPhone 5S from his mum, Yorkshire Tea from Niall, and football cleats from Liam.

"Wait, I do have something for you." Harry said after Louis had thanked everyone.

"Oh yeah?" Louis asked.

"Yeah." Harry got up and hugged Louis and everyone clapped and harmonized "awwww"s together. Louis hugged back tightly around Harry's waist, soaking in Harry's warmth.

"Thank you, Harry. Just what I've always wanted." Louis wasn't even being sarcastic.

Jay and the girls left soon after making Louis promise to come over on Christmas day. Louis, Liam, and Niall cleaned up the living room while Ellie showered in one bathroom and Harry showered in the other. Neither of them had a change of clothes, so Louis gave Harry some of his and Niall gave Ellie a big t-shirt and the smallest basketball shorts he had. Louis said he'd help them find a way into Zayn's apartment to retrieve their things in the morning.

Once Harry got out of the shower, he and Louis went to Louis' room and laid down in his bed. They had to squeeze in pretty tight to both fit on the twin sized bed, but Louis didn't mind, and by the way Harry held on to Louis' hips, he figured he didn't mind much either.

"Happy birthday, Louis." Harry said drowsily.

"Thanks Harry." And for the first time since school started, sleep came effortlessly to Louis.


	7. He want that, cake cake cake

Louis woke up the next morning feeling existential, just as he had on every morning of his birthday that he could remember. Most people felt it, he thought. When you wake up and remember it's your birthday, and you know it's not logical to feel older, but due to the placebo of you being "a year older", you do anyway. Louis rolled over and was met with the cold other side of the sheets. Louis could have sworn there was a cute curly boy next to him when he'd fallen asleep. Louis looked to his dresser and found a piece of torn notebook paper scribbled on with purple pen.

**_Birthday boy,_ **   
**_Follow the kisses. xx Harry_ **

Louis sat up and popped his neck before looking down at the ground where every couple inches, there was a Hershey's kiss making a trail out of his room. Louis felt the blood rush to his cheeks. He always loved how the word "blush" was just a combination of the words "blood" and "rush". Louis got up and picked up each kiss until something new on his vanity caught his eye. There was a small bowl filled with water with little blue rocks at the bottom, a teeny tiny pink castle, and a lilac coloured beta fish swimming lazily in the middle.

"Haz..?" Louis called as he continued to follow the trail of chocolates out to the living room and finally to the kitchen where Harry stood wearing a "Kiss the Cook" apron and his curls in a ponytail on top of his head, bending down to look at something in the fridge. Once Harry heard his name, he jumped and nearly slammed the fridge shut.

"Hey birthday princess!" Harry threw his arms around Louis and gave him a huge bear hug that almost came close to Liam esque. It felt like home.

"Why is there an aquatic creature in my room?" Louis asked, sliding his arms around Harry's middle.

"Her name is Heather and she's our new pet." Even though Harry's face was on Louis' shoulder, he could hear his smile.

"Our?" Louis asked, pulling away.

"Yes. Our. She needs two parents." Sure enough, Harry was smiling like the idiot he clearly was.

"Right..why did you name a fish Heather?" Louis asked, raising an eyebrow.

"She looks like a Heather." _Why was he so fucking cute? Jesus Christ._

"You're such an idiot."

"I know." Louis walked towards the fridge but was blocked by Harry before he got to it.

"No. You can't go in there." Harry leaned against the door of the fridge.

"And why not? It's my fridge." Louis eyed the handle.

"It's a surprise. Oh! Guess what!"

Louis studied Harry's face. He looked like a five year old little girl with his hair up like that, yet somehow he was kind of sexy. Louis was starting to question his own personal taste.

"What?"

"I got a job! Like, a real one."

"What? Where? When?" Louis looked at the clock on the oven, it showed only 8:14am.

"Yeah. Um, the cafe down the street. I went to apply about an hour ago, and I got it." Harry was doing that thing where he was trying to suppress his smile and his genuine excitement, but he was doing a really bad job of it.

"Whoa, that's great. Good job." Louis went in to hug Harry again, but this time lifted his chin as his arms wrapped around Harry's waist and slid his hands under Harry's shirt. Harry held Louis close and tilted his head down and their lips met, like they'd done this a thousand times before.

"Thanks." Harry whispered it into Louis' mouth and Louis felt himself turn to goop for a second.

"Happy Birthday, old man!"

Louis leaned back a little to turn, still hugging Harry. "Thanks Niall." Louis smiled.

Niall walked towards the fridge and opened it. "Holy shit, what is-"

"No! Don't!" Harry leaped towards the fridge and closed it before Louis could take a peek. "it's a surprise.."

Niall raised his eyebrows. "Wow. Right. Um, I just need to get some orange juice for Ellie."

Louis noticed that Niall was shirtless and his hair was messier than his usual bedhead. "You weren't sleeping on the couch last night..were you?"

Niall bit his lower lip and smiled slightly. "Nope. I wasn't."

"Oh my god!"

" _I know!_ " It was written all over Niall's pale face.

Harry grabbed the orange juice quickly from the fridge and handed it to Niall, who poured a glass and went back to his room.

"Is that weird for you? Since she's your friend." Louis asked.

"Kind of. She's like, the little sister I never asked for, but got anyway." Harry smiled.

"I have four of those." Louis laughed. "Now when can I see this surprise?"

"Later. Is there anything you want to do for your birthday?" Harry untied the apron in the back and hung it back up on the nail it hadn't left since Louis, Liam and Niall moved in and Liam's ex Danielle hung it there and never came back to claim it.

"Um..not really." This was the first year Louis didn't have any plans. Last year he'd dragged Stan to the zoo and had a terrible time because Stan kept bitching about how cold it was and why the hell would anyone go there on their twenty first birthday.

Just then, Liam emerged from his room holding up a boombox (yes, Liam still owned a boombox) over his head, blaring the song Birthday Sex by Jeremiah.

"Oh god no.." Louis said, putting his face in his hands as Liam came closer.

"This was the only birthday song I could think of!" Liam shouted over the sultry beat.

"Please don't tell me you own that CD.." Harry said.

"Oh, he does." Louis shook his head that was still in his tiny hands.

"I do and it's badass. OH I KNOW ANOTHER SONG!" Liam ran back in his room for another CD. He came back and popped it in the boombox and before Louis knew it, both Liam and Harry were jumping around him dancing to Cake by Rihanna.

"You guys are the absolute worst!" Louis shouted, but he actually thought it was hilarious.

After the song faded to and end, Liam turned off the outdated music player and turned to Louis. "How do you feel about that?"

Louis smiled. "Well I don't know about you.."

"Oh Christ.." Liam sighed.

"BUT I'M FEELING TWENTY TWOOOOO...OOO OOO!" Louis belted out the pop song like he was born for it.

"Oh my god you did NOT." Harry stood, his mouth agape.

"Oh, but I did." Louis' eyes crinkled at the sides, he was smiling so big.

"That's such a dreadful song." Harry shook his head.

"But it's relevant to my life today." Louis pointed out.

"Fair enough."

Louis, Liam and Harry decided to make breakfast. Harry whisked batter together to make homemade biscuits like a pro, Liam blended together a plethora of fruits and protein powder for "morning power shakes" and Louis attempted cracking eggs, but he kept getting little bits of the shells in them. Harry giggled and offered to take over for Louis, who didn't have to be asked twice. Louis' specialty was watching other people do things so that he didn't have to, unless it involved acting or football.

Right as the food was done, Niall and Ellie came out of Niall's room looking all glowy and smiley. Louis smiled. It had been a long time since Niall had found a girl he was actually interested in.

"That smells amazin'. Oh god, is that bacon?" Niall walked toward a plate piled high with fresh, crispy bacon courtesy of Harry Styles. To Louis' surprise, Harry was very handy in the kitchen and ended up cooking all the food. Liam passed around plates and everyone grabbed what they wanted and they all sat down on the living room floor and ate.

"Happy birthday, Louis." Ellie said in her tiny voice.

"Thanks Ellie." Louis smiled back at her. The rest of the meal was eaten in mostly silence, seeing as though everyone was still kind of half asleep. Once the plates were cleared and in the dishwasher, Liam turned to Louis.

"What do you wanna do today?"

Louis brought his knees up to his chest and thought. _What did he want to do?_ After several minutes of thought, Louis snapped his fingers.

"Do we still have that puzzle of America?"

"..The two thousand piece puzzle my nan sent me for my birthday three years ago? Yes..oh my god, that's not what you want to do, is it?" Liam frowned at Louis.

"Oh come on, we've never even opened it. If we all do it together, I think it'd be fun." Louis looked around at everyone who all had blank expressions as if they were waiting for Louis to say that he was just kidding..except for Harry.

"I _love_ puzzles, oh my gosh. Let's break it out!" Harry clapped his hands together, again, like he was five years old. _This kid was a drug dealer less than a week ago._

Still silence. Several seconds went by before anyone spoke.

"So you're serious, then?" Niall asked slowly.

"Yes! C'mon!" Louis begged.

"I think a puzzle sounds fun." Ellie offered, probably only for Louis' benefit, and Niall softened.

"Well, alright..I guess." Niall walked to the game closet and grabbed the big box with a picture of America on it. It was still wrapped in plastic and covered in a thin layer of dust. Liam opened it and dumped all two thousand pieces on the ground and everyone joined in a circle around them and started grabbing pieces.

Louis searched for more than fifteen minutes before finding a corner piece, but he finally did and searched for pieces that looked like they'd match. Louis kept glancing over to Harry, who looked completely engrossed. He kept inspecting pieces and then looking at the box closely and nodding. Louis couldn't help but smile.

An hour went by before Niall started getting frustrated, which was a personal best. "I don't think the rest of Florida is here. I think the puzzle company jipped us."

"I'm either halfway done with Wisconsin or Minnesota, I can't tell." Ellie said.

"Why does America have so many goddamn states?" Liam asked and everyone laughed.

Louis was working on Texas, which was the biggest state other than Alaska; it was way bigger than England, and Louis always found that so bizarre.

It took them six hours between the five of them to complete. It probably would have only taken them five if Niall hadn't been sitting on most of Washington unknowingly. Finally, Ellie placed the last piece of Kentucky, which Louis hadn't even been aware was an actual state until now. They all stood up and admired their hard work.

"I can't believe we actually did that." Liam said.

"But don't you feel accomplished?" Louis asked.

"Sort of."

Harry rested his chin on Louis' shoulder. "Ready for your surprise?" He asked.

Louis nodded.

"Okay, stay here. Liam, mind helping me?" Harry asked and Liam followed him into the kitchen.

Louis heard matches strike against their cases and the smell wafted into the living room, which Louis loved. Harry and Liam walked out slowing, each holding either side of a big round Tiffany blue cake with white icing roses and beautiful cursive white icing script that read "Happy Birthday Lou" perfectly in the center. White candles circled the perimeter of the cake and sure enough, Louis counted twenty two. The cake looked like a piece of art. Harry initiated the singing and once again, Louis stood while everyone sang Happy Birthday to him while he marveled at the cake in front of him. At the end of the song, everyone clapped and Louis shut his eyes to make his wish. He made the same wish every year, and he always wished for an adventure, ever since he could remember. He opened his eyes and blew every single candle out in one blow. Louis had always been confident in his blowing abilities. (pun definitely intended)

Harry cut the cake in equal slices and everyone had a piece. Liam made Louis take the first bite, since it was his birthday. Louis had chosen the piece that said "Lou" and he almost didn't want to take a bite, it looked so pretty. But he did, and it was the best cake he'd ever tasted in his life. It was white cake, but it was moist and fluffy at the same time, and even though the frosting was Tiffany blue, it tasted like strawberry and it was buttercream, Louis' favorite. "Oh my god.." the moan that escaped Louis' lips was almost pornagraphic. "Where did you get this?"

"I made it." Harry smiled.

Louis almost choked. " _You made this!?_ "

Harry nodded, his dimples prominent.

"You better be the baker at the cafe because dear god, I've never had such good cake in my life." Louis wasn't a huge sweets person, but he wanted to eat this entire cake. Once everyone else tried it, they understood and almost equally obscene noises came from their mouths. Harry tried not to turn red and failed. He was so modest.

"I'm glad you like it." Harry said shyly.

After they'd all eaten their pieces of cake, Louis looked over at Liam who nodded, knowing exactly what Louis was thinking. Every year since Liam had gotten his license, he took Louis to drive around and look at Christmas lights on the night of his birthday. The sun was already down and Louis wondered where the day had gone.

"Everyone get your coats on, we're going to look at Christmas lights!" Liam announced.

"Will we all fit?" Ellie asked.

"Liam's car is a piece of shit, but it's roomy." Niall smiled.

"It gets me where I need to go." Liam smiled, pulling on his shoes.

Louis and Harry helped each other put on their coats and Niall gave Ellie one of his, since she didn't have a proper winter coat. They all piled in Liam's van. Liam took the driver's seat, Niall and Ellie could both fit in the passenger seat if they sat very close together, and Louis and Harry sat in the back seat. Louis watched the twinkling red, green, and white lights in people's yards as Liam drove slowly through neighbourhoods. Once they made their way to the really nice part of London, Harry rested his head on Louis' shoulder and breathed warm breath on Louis' neck, which gave Louis goosebumps. Liam had the Christmas station playing on the radio and Louis sang along quietly to I'll Be Home For Christmas. Harry hummed along and Louis felt entirely complete. Every year, this car ride was a magical experience for Louis, but especially so this year. He'd never invited anyone along for the ride other than Niall, afraid that the wrong company would ruin it. However, with Harry and Ellie, it was perfect. Louis felt electric and warm and whole.

Louis must have dozed off before they'd gotten back to the flat, because he woke up being set down in bed by Harry. Louis reached for Harry the second his hands left Louis, and then Harry's big warm body was spooning his.

"Did you have a good birthday, Lou?" Harry whispered into Louis' neck.

"It was the best birthday of my life." Louis slurred. And it actually may have been.


	8. I'll Be Home For Christmas

Louis jolted awake the next morning to Harry whimpering in his sleep. Once Louis' eyes adjusted, he looked at Harry, who was curled up into a ball and frowning with a layer of cold sweat glimmering from the sunlight streaming in through the window on his face. Louis touched Harry's cheek softly and recoiled upon feeling how hot he was.

"Harry?" Louis whispered. Harry's eyes opened instantly, the second his name left Louis' lips.

"Yeah?" Harry's pupils were big.

"You're really warm and you were whimpering in your sleep. How do you feel? Are you okay?"

Harry let out a long sigh. "I feel like shit. I will be okay."

Harry closed his eyes again and Louis watched as he drifted back to sleep. His breaths weren't even and he kept twitching. Louis frowned before standing up and noticing the presents he'd wrapped a few days ago for his family glinting in the corner. _Today was Christmas_. Louis walked over to his dresser and stared at the dumb fish.. _Heather_..as she swam in and out of her little pink castle. Louis couldn't help but smile. He noticed a piece of paper next to the fish bowl that was apparently Harry's schedule at the cafe. Today was his first day. Louis had forgotten that the owner was Jewish and kept the cafe open every day except Passover and closed early on the nights of Hanukkah. Louis walked out to the living room to find Liam and Niall drinking coffee on the couch together.

"Did you get Harry or Ellie anything?" Liam asked, gesturing to the Christmas tree.

"Shit. No." Louis bit his lower lip. Christmas was Louis' favourite holiday and he always ended up getting gifts for almost everyone he knew because he loved shopping for others.

"Us either. The little boutique across the street is open. Wanna go?" Liam asked. Cal's wife owned the boutique, and Cal was the owner of the cafe.

"Yeah." Louis nodded, already slipping on his boots. He was wearing sweatpants, but he didn't care. He didn't feel like squeezing into his usual skinny jeans first thing Christmas morning. Harry's schedule said he had to be at the cafe at 11, which gave Louis 3 hours of ample time to find something, wrap it, and put it under the tree.

Louis, Liam and Niall all zipped up their coats and walked across the street. The block was nearly empty. Most families were waking up and opening presents. There was something euphoric about Christmas morning to Louis and most children. Even though he didn't believe in Santa Clause anymore, he still got really excited when he woke up Christmas morning and had a history of shaking presents with his name on them before anyone else woke up.

The boutique was small and trendy, perfect for university students. Liam pushed the door open and the little bell chimed. Cal's wife sat behind the counter and looked up from her magazine, clearly surprised someone was there. "Oh! Welcome! Happy holidays!" She smiled at the boys who smiled back. Louis was drawn to the back of the store where the shoes were, particularly by a pair of fresh brown leather boots. They were kind of like the torn ones Harry always wore, but these ones were beautiful. Louis ran his finger across the side of the shoes and decided on them before checking the price tag. The price didn't matter, these were _perfect_. Louis guessed Harry was a size 12, judging by the size of Harry's hands and what he remembered of Harry's feet. They could always exchange them if they didn't fit. Louis then looked around for something Ellie would like, and then he realized he knew next to nothing about her. He decided on a powder blue cashmere sweater because everyone needs to own a cashmere sweater and Louis thought she'd look good in the color. Louis found Liam picking out scarves for both of them and Niall had gotten Harry onsie pajamas that looked like a kangaroo (pouch and stuffed joey and all), but was unsure for Ellie.

"I want to get her something really nice." Niall said, shaking his head at cardigans. "What do you think I should get her?"

"What does she like?" Louis asked.

"Em. Well, she sings like an angel. She does it without noticing and I don't know if she knows, but she sounds amazin'." Niall's little grin was adorable.

Louis snapped his fingers. "Follow me."

Louis led Niall to the side of the shop that had home decorations and led him to a shelf that had music boxes on it. "Get her one of these. She can put jewelry in it."

Niall opened one made out of dark wood with flowers carved into it and the melody from "Your Song" by Elton John started playing softly while a pale blonde ballerina twirled in the middle. "Lou, you're a genius! This is perfect."

"I know." Louis smiled.

Cal's wife checked them out at the register and Louis made a pretty significant dent in his savings, but he shrugged it off and justified it to himself because other people's happiness was more important. Especially on Christmas.

They walked back to the flat and Louis and Niall sat on the living room floor while Liam grabbed the scissors, tape, bows, and wrapping paper from the hall closet. Louis wrapped the gifts perfectly. He put Ellie's sweater in a box and wrapped it in pink wrapping paper with a silver bow and Harry's boots in red wrapping paper with a gold bow. Niall's gifts looked like they had been wrapped by a 5 year old, but it was kind of endearing in a way. Liam opted for gift bags. Almost as soon as the boys placed the gifts under the tree, Niall's door opened and Ellie stood in the doorway rubbing her eyes in Niall's 5 Seconds of Summer t-shirt and basketball shorts.

"Just in time to open presents. Let me wake Harry." Louis got up and went to his room where Harry was still curled up and sweating.

"Haz. Wake up. We're opening presents. It's Christmas." Louis ran his fingers through Harry's damp curls.

"Hmm?" Harry's eyes opened. "Christmas?"

"Yes, you know. The son of God was born today?"

"Jesus?" Harry offered softly.

"That's the one. Come on, get up." Harry sat up and popped his neck, which made Louis cringe, before getting up. He was still wearing Louis' sweatpants and no shirt. Louis salivated looking at Harry's deep v lines. Louis let Harry lead the way to the living room and joined the others sitting around the tree.

"I want to go first!" Liam exclaimed. Grabbing gifts under the tree and placing them in front of each other person.

"You didn't have to get me anything!" Ellie was blushing.

"Shh, it's Christmas." Liam said.

"We all got you something." Louis told her.

"I couldn't.." Ellie started.

"You can and you will. Open it!" Liam smiled.

Ellie pursed her lips together and opened the gift bag and pulled out the red scarf Liam had picked out for her less than an hour before. "Oh! This is lovely! It's so soft! I love it!" She held it to her face and looked at Liam like she was going to cry. "Thank you. Really, thank you so much."

"Merry Christmas. Harry, open yours." Harry did and pulled out an identical black scarf. "Wow, this is really nice. Thank you, Liam." Harry held his to his face like Ellie had. They really did act like siblings.

Liam got Niall the new Pokemon XY game and he'd gotten Louis a new hair straightener. Niall gave Liam new headphones and Louis pajama pants with the Corona logo all over them. Ellie did cry when she opened the music box Niall got her, and Niall hugged her and it was just all really cute. Harry put on the kangaroo onesie right away, he loved it. Ellie loved the powder blue cashmere sweater and told Louis it was her favourite colour. Louis had also gotten Liam a pull-up bar to put in his doorway so he could do pull-ups at home, which he loved, and he got Niall a bunch of graphic t-shirts. Louis' heart beat fast while Harry opened his gift. Harry's eyes went wide and his mouth remained opened once he pulled the top off the shoe box.

"Are they okay? Do you like them?" Louis was getting increasingly more anxious every second Harry remained silent.

Finally, Harry spoke. "Are they okay? Are you _kidding_? These are incredible. I..thank you. So much. Thank you so much, these are..wow." Harry picked up one of the boots and breathed in the leather smell. "And they're real. Wow. You really shouldn't have. Honestly."

Louis felt a huge sense of relief. "I'm so glad you like them."

"I **love** them." Harry said.

"Can I go next?" Ellie asked.

"Then me!" Harry said.

Louis looked under the tree and there were still presents. He never saw Harry or Ellie bring presents in the house, let alone put them under the tree.

Ellie handed each person a small box wrapped in pink glittery paper. She'd made everyone a different colored woven yarn bracelet. Liam's was dark and light blue woven into a pattern of chevrons much like his tattoo on his forearm. Niall's was yellow and green checkerboard. Louis' was black and red braided and Harry's was teal and white diamond patterned. "They're wishing bracelets." Ellie explained. "You make a wish while I tie them on you and you have to keep them on until they fall off on their own. If you do, the wish will come true." Louis closed his eyes and wished for Harry to kiss him while Ellie tied his bracelet on.

Harry placed a small present in front of each person. Liam opened his first. Harry had gotten him gloves that had special finger tips so he could still use his phone with them. Liam loved them. Harry had gotten Niall a snapback that just said "Dope", which Niall absolutely loved. Ellie opened hers, which was a little silver star charm. Apparently, Harry had gotten Ellie a charm bracelet years ago and got her a new charm every year. Sure enough, Louis looked at her wrist and noticed the bracelet. Louis opened his present, which was rectangular and light. He pulled the top of the box off to reveal a pair of red Toms shoes, just like the black ones he owned. He'd been eyeing the red ones for almost 6 months.

"How did you know I've been wanting these!?" Louis smile was wide as he checked the size. Harry had gotten it right.

"I saw you wearing the black ones and I personally really liked the red ones. I guess I did well." Harry's dimples sunk in deeper when he smiled and Louis got up to hug him.

"Thank you. I really like them. You're awesome." Louis buried his head in Harry's neck and when he pulled away, he stopped to look at Harry's face and Harry leaned up to kiss him, right in front of everyone. Louis checked his wrist. Ellie's bracelets worked faster than he thought.

"Gotta get ready for work." Harry said.

"Okay." Louis watched Harry walk into his room with a smile on his face.

"Are you two official?" Ellie asked, smiling at Louis who was still smiling at Harry.

"No." _What were they?_

"Do you want to be?" She asked.

Without hesitation, Louis answered. "Yes."

Harry came out in jeans, a white v-neck, and his new brown boots. His hair was pulled back by a headband. "Do I look okay?"

"You look great." Louis said and everyone else nodded. The boots really suited Harry and really pulled his look together. They looked like Harry boots.

Harry smiled. "I should probably get going."

"Can I walk you?" Louis asked, handing Harry his own brown leather jacket that he thought would look great with the boots.

"If you'd like. Thanks, this jacket will match the boots." And it did.

They left the flat and the cold air kissed their cheeks. Harry's hand slipped into Louis' and Louis didn't mind. He usually wasn't a big hand holding guy, but something was different about Harry's hands.

"I can't thank you enough for the boots. None of you guys had to get me anything, you're giving me a place to live." Harry said.

"It was no big deal. We wanted to. And those boots were basically made for you. Thanks for the Toms." Louis looked down at the red canvas shoes that looked good with his tanned skin.

They reached the cafe and Harry leaned down to kiss Louis. "Thanks for walking me. I'll be home at 8. I mean, I get off at 8. I'll get back to your flat at 8." Harry's cheeks were red and Louis couldn't tell if it was because he just referred to Louis' flat as "home" or because it was cold.

"See you at 8." Louis said, kissing Harry back.

 

 

Once Louis got back, Liam headed out to his parent's house and Niall and took Ellie to his parent's house. Louis grabbed the presents he had for his mum and sisters and loaded them into his car and drove the 30 minutes to the house he'd grown up in. As soon as he pulled in the driveway, Daisy and Phoebe ran out, still in their pajamas.

"You're finally here!" Daisy said.

"Hurry! Let's open presents!" Phoebe opened Louis' door and basically dragged him out.

Opening presents at the Tomlinson house was a lot less orderly than most. Everyone grabbed presents with their name on them and went at it all at once, which is exactly what happened the second Louis got in the house.

Louis got an All Out hoodie from his mum, a painting to put in his room from Lottie, a snapback from Fizzy and a beanie from the twins. Once the floor was littered with torn wrapping paper and bows, Louis' mum stood up.

"I also have something special to tell you guys. I've been waiting for us all to be together and it didn't feel right on Lou's birthday."

"Well? What is it then? Don't make us guess." Louis asked, hoping for good news.

Jay took a deep breath. "Alright. Well, you're all going to have two new siblings."

It took Louis a moment to process that it meant that she was pregnant. Again. Lottie gasped, Fizzy put her hands over her mouth, and the twins simultaneously shouted "I'm going to be a big sister!"

"Oh my god, more twins!? How long have you known??" Louis stood up and gave his mum a big hug. His legs were shaking.

"Just a week. I don't know the sexes yet." There were tears of joy in the corners of Jay's eyes. Louis was ecstatic.

"What if they're both girls again? I don't think we can handle 7 girls in one house." Lottie laughed.

"They could be. Or one or both could be boys and Lou wouldn't be the only one anymore." Jay rubbed her stomach.

"That would be cool. And I could teach them football." Louis absolutely loved being an older brother.

 

 

Louis spent the entire day with his family. They watched telly for a while together, he drew pictures with the twins, and then talked to Lottie and Fizzy. They asked about Harry and Ellie and Louis told them he fancied Harry. He left out the part about him being an ex drug dealer. They were both really excited, saying he was so much cuter and polite than Stan. Fizzy went to go help Jay in the kitchen and Lottie opened her mouth to ask Louis something, but then decided against it.

"What were you going to say?" Louis asked.

"Nothing. It's nothing." She shook her head.

"Don't give me that. Just ask."

"It's awkward." Lottie said.

"Out with it! You can tell me anything." Louis told her.

"Okay." Lottie cleared her throat. "How did you know you were ready to have sex?"

Louis was taken aback. "Oh. Um. I dunno. Actually, I wasn't ready the first time. I did it way too young the first opportunity I got. But the first time I knew I was ready, I just knew. It felt right. There weren't any doubts. Why? Oh god, are you thinking about it?" Louis had to remind himself that she was the age lots of teenagers started having sex, and that he was 3 years younger than her when he did it for the first time.

"Yeah. I really love Martin." She looked down and smiled.

"Just be careful. Only do it if you want to, and you can always change your mind. Don't forget that, okay? And ask mum to get on the pill."

"No! I'm not telling mum!" Lottie hissed.

"Trust me, she's not going to freak out. Like I said, I was way too young and I still asked her for condoms my first time and she was really cool about it." Louis said.

"Was your first time with a girl?" Lottie asked with her eyebrows furrowed.

"No Lots, I've been gay this whole time."

"Then why did you use a condom?"

"Are you kidding? To help prevents STDs. Condoms aren't just for pregnancy. You should know this stuff." Louis was surprised at how there were kids who didn't know that.

"Oh. Maybe I'm not ready."

"Just be careful. If you have any questions, I'm always a phone call away, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Lou."

"You're welcome, Lots."

 

 

Jay made pot roast and they all ate at the dining room table. Louis loved that there was never silence at his mum's house. Between the 6 of them, there was always at least 2 conversations happening at any given moment.

After dinner, Louis helped his mum do the dishes and then decided to leave so he could be home when Harry got home. He told his mum to promise to let him know when she got the next sonogram because he wanted to be there. She asked him if he'd help with names, and he said yes. He hugged and kissed all of his sisters, then his mum, and rubbed her stomach so his future siblings knew he was there and that he was excited to meet them.

Louis drove home with the Christmas station on the radio and sang along. He pulled up right as Harry walked up. They joined hands as they walked up to the flat and both laid down on the couch, Harry spooning Louis.

"How was your first day?" Louis asked, nuzzling into the shape of Harry.

"Better than I expected. I'm not making as much as I'm..um..accustomed to, but I actually really enjoy it."

"How are you feeling?" Louis looked back at Harry.

"Still not too great, but it'll get better."

"...Is it withdrawals?" Louis asked.

Harry hesitated. "Yeah."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Can I help?"

"You already have. So much." Harry kissed Louis and didn't stop until they exhausted themselves Louis fell asleep on the couch in Harry's arms.

"Merry Christmas, boobear."

**Author's Note:**

> Don't do drugs. Seriously. Just don't.


End file.
